Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device
by NotAContrivance
Summary: AU. Season Two never happened. My spin on things...Say Hi to the Vaughn sisters...And it gets weirder.
1. Mommy's Here

Chapter One: Mommy's Here  
  
Taipei, Taiwan- Warehouse/Club  
  
"Mom?" Sydney choked out.  
  
"Oh, Sydney, darling, how beautiful you've grown! Oh, dear, you're tied to this chair! Who did this, Sweetie?," asked Irina worriedly.  
  
"Maybe the guy who knocked me out," Sydney shrugged.  
  
"Somebody knocked you out? Who? And is that dried blood on your cheek?" Irina said worriedly, hovering over her daughter.  
  
"An Asian guy. And he hit me on the chin when I..." Sydney trailed off, then burst into tears suddenly.  
  
"Oh, sweetie, let it all out! Now, I'm going to get you out of this rope, okay? Then you're gonna tell your mom what's wrong, got it?" Irina questioned, and began untying the ropes binding her daughter.  
  
"Okay," Syd sniffled.  
  
Irina had untied all the ropes and she was shocked by what she saw. Here was her daughter, who she hadn't seen for over 20 years, wearing a few scraps of leather and mesh.  
  
"Sydney, sweetie, did you dye your hair blue?" asked Irina patiently.  
  
"No," Sydney replied meekly.  
  
"What are you wearing? I can't believe Jack let you wear that! I mean, I've never seen that much skin, and I was a lingerie model for Victoria's Secret when I was your age!" Irina shouted.  
  
Sydney giggled. Then the giggle became a full-blown snort. The snort became a guffaw. Pretty soon, Syd was rolling on the floor, but then Syd seemed to realize something and stopped.  
  
"Ewwww! I did not need that visual, Mom! That's just wrong!" Syd said in playful disgust.  
  
"How about you come with me, sweetie. We'll get you all cleaned up, okay?" Irina said kindly.  
  
Syd got up off the floor and followed her mother to her room. Her mother cleaned the wound on her chin, remarking that this guard would meet with "Suit and Glasses" and lose his job. Then Irina let Syd pick out her own outfit. Syd picked out a pair of jeans, a black halter-top, and a pair of white tennis shoes. She put them on and her mother grabbed her clothes and shoved them in a bag with her wig.  
  
"Now will you tell me what's wrong?" Irina asked sweetly.  
  
Syd opened her mouth and was about to speak when a figure swung down from the air vents.  
  
The familiar figure landed gracefully. It then proceeded in yelling, "SYDNEY!!!!!!"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
Hey, did ya'll like that? Who is the mysterious figure? Why was Sydney crying? What will Sydney do after she leaves her mom? What happened to Vaughn? Did Dixon report Sydney? Did Emily Die? What will happen to Will? And what is Jack's role in all this? Find out next time (or the time after that) on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device! 


	2. Reestablished Romance

Chapter Two: Reestablished Romance  
  
"Hey, Dad," Syd said calmly.  
  
"Hey, Honey," Jack replied easily.  
  
"I have waited almost thirty years for this." Irina said in a low voice.  
  
Jack whipped around and saw Irina. To say he was shocked was an understatement. His "dead" wife was standing directly before his eyes!  
  
"Hello, Honey. My, the years have treated you well, eh, Jack?" Irina said circling Jack.  
  
Jack stared at her for a moment, transfixed. Then a thought came to him, he hadn't gotten any action in forever! He would not even consider Barnett, that psycho-slut! Besides, Sydney and her... her...Michael had enough against protocol relationships for the whole family. He was Jack Bristow, and NO BODY was good enough for him! But, Irina would do, after all, she was the mother of his daughter and she was totally hot!  
  
"Laura...Irina...You do not look so bad yourself," Jack spluttered.  
  
Irina blushed.  
  
"Thanks, Honey. You know that you can call me Laura, right?" Irina replied shyly.  
  
"Ummm, yeah," Jack stumbled over his words.  
  
Jack then pivoted so he was facing Sydney.  
  
"Go find Vaughn," was all Jack uttered.  
  
At the mere mention of Vaughn's surname, Syd burst into tears.  
  
"But, but, but...I don't know where to look," Syd blubbered, crying on the leather duster that she just happened to be wearing.  
  
"Sweetie, is that his jacket?" Jack asked interestedly.  
  
"Yes," came Syd's meek reply.  
  
"What a gentleman..." Irina sighed.  
  
With that, Syd started crying again. Jack turned to Irina.  
  
"Where is Khasinau keeping the men that were involved in the flooding of the Circumference?" Jack barked to Irina.  
  
Irina chewed her lip. She thought for a moment.  
  
"Probably in the upstairs office," Irina replied finally.  
  
"Syd, you go. I'll stay here with your mother, okay?" Jack ordered.  
  
Jack shooed Syd out the door. Irina locked it. After this was done, Irina was all over him. She pushed him against a table and kissed him passionately.  
  
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Irina said breathless from the kiss.  
  
"Probably as long as I have," replied Jack panting for breath.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
What will become of Jack and Irina? Will Sydney save Vaughn from the wrath of Khasinau? Where is Will? Do you care? What about all the other cliffhangers? And where the heck is Sark? All these questions and more will be answered next time on...Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device! 


	3. The Kiss

Chapter Three: The Kiss  
  
Sydney ran down the hallway. She reached the door to the club and opened it. She attempted to weave through the crowd. A man reached out and grabbed her.  
  
"Hey, Sweet Momma, you looking for a good Honey Dog?" the man slurred in Taiwanese.  
  
Syd wrenched her arm free from the man's grasp. She rubbed her arm to try and rid it of the smell of alcohol. Then, she smacked him across the face.  
  
"I remember you. I tried to dance with you but your boyfriend pushed me away. Well, he's not here now and that won't stop me from making you mine!" the Taiwanese man said drunkenly.  
  
"Oooh! You're asking for it now!" Syd said, temper flaring.  
  
"What are you gonna do, report me?" the Taiwanese man taunted.  
  
"I'm going to defend myself, of course!" Syd shouted in perfect Taiwanese.  
  
The unintelligent man merely laughed. Syd kicked him hard in the stomach. He flew backward into a wall and crumpled to the floor. Syd then flipped backward several times, did a roll in the air, and landed on her feet on the narrow spiral staircase. She ran up the stairs. When she reached the door, she took out a lock pick and soon the door opened.  
  
She raced in and hid behind a gurney.  
  
If anyone had looked they would have seen a blur speed behind a gurney. Syd saw a gurney next to her. It had an automatic switch to make it move. She set it to high, noiselessly moved it to the middle of the hallway, and turned it on.  
  
Khasinau was about to use the scalpel on a certain Vaughn, but he heard the commotion, and therefore went to check on it. He ran past Syd's hiding place. Syd grabbed the bar and used it to flip herself onto the top of the gurney. Then, grabbing the other bar, she flipped herself from a crouch to an upright position. She raced down the hall, looking at the bodies. Then she saw Vaughn. She ran to his side.  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney pleaded.  
  
"Sydney," Vaughn mumbled in his sleep, because he was dreaming about her.  
  
"Vaughn," Syd said hopefully.  
  
Vaughn was waking up a bit.  
  
"Syd," Vaughn moaned.  
  
"Khasinau's coming," Syd warned.  
  
Vaughn's eyes still did not open. Syd thought for a moment. She had to do this. Anything to wake him up, she shrugged.  
  
Syd slowly leaned over Vaughn. She got closer and closer until she was so close that she could feel his breath on her face. His forehead wrinkled. She had wanted to do this for so long. Kiss away his worries, she thought. Too bad his worries are mostly me.  
  
Syd leaned in, closed her eyes, moved closer and closer and...................................kissed Vaughn's forehead.  
  
That of course woke Vaughn up. Vaughn saw his angel leaning above him. She was still kissing his forehead. He smiled a giddy grin, feeling like a schoolboy who had just kissed his first crush. He came back down to Earth.  
  
"Khasinau's coming," Vaughn replied.  
  
Syd snapped out of the haven she was in and moved away, a sheepish grin on her face. She must have kissed him for a minute or something. In reality, it had been 5 minutes, but all that mattered to her was the fact that he was there, alive, and she had kissed him.  
  
She unfastened the belt trapping him against the table, her fingers brushing against his bare flesh, and pulled the blanket off of him.  
  
"Here, you need a shirt," she said, handing him the jacket she had worn.  
  
"Thanks," was his jovial remark.  
  
They sped out the door. Syd slid down the banister and landed in Vaughn's arms. He spun her around.  
  
They ran through the club. Vaughn pushed the drunk man away again. They ran to where Syd's mother was. They saw a note on the door. It said:  
  
Dear Sydney,  
  
Make yourself at home in the room next door. There is a working fridge, clothes for you and Mr. Vaughn, a bathroom, a king sized bed, a TV., and many other things in there to keep yourself amused. Have fun!  
  
Love,  
  
Mom & Dad xoxoxoxoxo  
  
"Sweet," Sydney mused.  
  
Syd and Vaughn entered the room. Syd started crying. Vaughn, who had removed the jacket, but Syd didn't know that, hugged her.  
  
Syd looked into his eyes and a strange feeling came over her.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
What strange feeling came over Syd? What's going to happen between her and Vaughn? What are Irina and Jack doing? Where is everyone else? Tune in next time on...Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device! 


	4. Uninhibited

Chapter Four: Uninhibited  
  
Syd started rubbing her hands purposefully across Vaughn's bare chest. Vaughn was astounded. Something was not right about this. A second ago, they had been hugging in a more platonic manner, and now she was...what? Vaughn was shivering. Not because he was cold, but because Syd was touching him in THAT way.  
  
"Syd, what are you doing?" Vaughn asked curiously.  
  
"I think we both know what I'm doing, Mike," Syd whispered seductively in Vaughn's ear.  
  
"Syd, WHY are you doing this?" Vaughn asked, with a bit of fear in his voice.  
  
"Why are you not pleased with this?" Syd countered.  
  
"Sydney, this isn't you," Vaughn said, deliberately changing the subject.  
  
"Maybe I'm just more me than I've ever been," Syd said angrily.  
  
"Syd, you shouldn't..."  
  
"I know how I feel, but how about you?" Syd questioned, interrupting Vaughn.  
  
"Syd, you're sick, you need to get help," Vaughn pleaded, purposely evading her question.  
  
"DO YOU WANT ME OR NOT?" Syd screamed.  
  
"Sydney, calm down..." Vaughn said, just as he was interrupted by Sydney again.  
  
"I've seen the way you look at me, Vaughn. It's like I'm the only person in the room, like I just gave you a lap dance," Syd spoke softly, caressing Vaughn's face.  
  
Vaughn blushed.  
  
"Syd, you're not well. Let me help you," Vaughn pleaded, staring into Syd's eyes.  
  
"I know you want this, why won't you allow Fate to intervene?" Syd questioned.  
  
"The Syd I know wouldn't act like this, The Syd I know would never try to pull anything like this," Vaughn stated unwavering.  
  
"Well then, I guess you don't know me!" Syd said, mad.  
  
"Syd has control," Vaughn reassured her.  
  
"She used to. It's unfair to deprive a woman of something she's wanted this long! I've never felt more alive!" Syd exclaimed, raising her arms toward the sky.  
  
"You are inhibited, just like the rest of us," Vaughn stated, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"You're one to talk, you could have had me so many times in the warehouse, but you are so tightly wound, that you didn't even make a move," Syd said forcefully.  
  
"Syd, nothing will ever happen between us," Vaughn stated boldly.  
  
"Liar," Syd murmured, before lightly pressing her lips against his.  
  
The pressure increased, and everywhere she touched him, he was on fire. He was kissing her with equal or more passion than she showed him. She deepened the kiss. Eventually, they had to break apart for oxygen.  
  
"Wow," Syd breathed before promptly fainting.  
  
"Yeah," Vaughn echoed.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.........  
  
What will happen to Syd? If that just happened to Syd, what will happen to Vaughn? And Jack and Irina? What about all those other cliffhangers? Tune in next time on....... Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device! 


	5. Aid and Recovery

Hey! Thanks, Guys! I wrote this a LOONG time ago. Well, I started a few days after the Season Premiere.And yeah, it's very weird. I've also been told it's funny.Suure. Anyways, since I have oh, what, 30 something chapters done, I'm gonna post them. And thanks for the reviews, everyone! This was my first fic ever and I'm kinda new to the 'net.  
  
Disclaimer: Hi, my name is JJ Abrams and I'm a pathological liar. As a matter of fact, JJ's not my name.But wait! Now I'm telling you the truth.  
  
Chapter Five: Aid and Recovery  
  
Vaughn caught Sydney in his arms, putting the kiss to the back of his mind. That was very hard to do. Matter of fact, he was still thinking about it.  
  
He carried Syd to the bed.  
  
"I'm not a china doll, Michael," Syd whispered in her sleep.  
  
Hearing her speak made him nearly drop her. He gently placed her on the bed. He tucked her in the covers. She thrashed around a bit while he was doing this. She suddenly sat straight up in the bed.  
  
"Wait," Syd said.  
  
Vaughn did so. Syd promptly stripped off her shirt. Vaughn blushed heavily. He knew that this was still Wild Syd.  
  
"Oh, come on, you've seen me in much less before, and you didn't seem to mind then!" Syd said groggily.  
  
"There's a difference. You were yourself then," Vaughn stated.  
  
"Don't leave me. And if you do, I get a kiss when you come back," Syd said very deliriously.  
  
"Okay," Vaughn promised, pulling the covers over her.  
  
He left the room. He went to Irina's bedroom, next door. He knocked softly. Nothing. He knocked harder. Irina heard this.  
  
"Go away," Irina said breathlessly.  
  
Vaughn shook his head. He had to do this. For Syd, he thought. Vaughn ran backwards. He then ran forward, kicking the door open. He was a bit grossed out by the scene before him.  
  
Irina and Jack were making out. Gosh, would they ever come up for air? No wonder Irina was breathless. They obviously hadn't heard him.  
  
"Ahem," Vaughn coughed.  
  
Jack and Irina broke apart. Irina smiled sheepishly. Jack fixed a death glare on his face. He had had a lot of practice with this, what with using it on Will, annoying people, Noah, Danny, Vaughn, Sydney's boyfriends, lower-level agents...You know, like EVERYONE. The death glare, however, clashed with the giddy grin on his face.  
  
"What is it, Mr. Vaughn? I was busy!" Jack snapped.  
  
Vaughn smirked, amused at seeing Jack close to flustered.  
  
"Oh, don't worry, I won't tell Sydney, If that's what you were wondering," Vaughn taunted.  
  
Jack gave him a special death glare to show that he shouldn't joke around.  
  
"Sydney's sick," Vaughn said, failing to keep the emotion out of his voice.  
  
Jack's death glare immediately changed into a worried look. Irina stopped blushing, her face pale with worry.  
  
"What did she do?" asked Irina urgently.  
  
"She acted totally out of character, has a fever, and fainted awhile ago," Vaughn replied, confused.  
  
Irina turned paler. She looked about ready to faint herself.  
  
"I was afraid of this," she said in a deadly whisper.  
  
"Did you... Did you... touch any of the Circumference water?" Irina said shakily.  
  
"Yeah, I nearly drowned in it," Vaughn snorted.  
  
Irina rummaged in a drawer. She found a small packet of pills and a bottle of medicine. She grabbed a spoon and Jack's hand and raced to Syd's room.  
  
"Vaughn, is that you? Where's my kiss?" Syd asked, blindly.  
  
Jack glared at Vaughn. Vaughn blushed.  
  
"I had to," He murmured.  
  
Jack glared again.  
  
"What? She can be really persistent," Vaughn shrugged.  
  
Irina was giving Syd the pills and medication.  
  
"I believe you," she remarked.  
  
"Why?" asked Vaughn incredulously.  
  
"That water makes you do crazy things. Like trying to seduce people they are attracted to. See, there's nothing holding them back...No inhibitions," Irina said thoughtfully.  
  
Vaughn blushed, again. Syd was coming to.  
  
"What do you remember?" questioned Vaughn eagerly.  
  
"Ummm...Hugging you...You carrying me...Not much else," Syd pondered.  
  
"I thought so," Vaughn remarked a bit sadly.  
  
"Did I do anything to you?" Syd asked suspiciously.  
  
"Nope, nada, nothing at all," lied Vaughn, who was a bit depressed.  
  
"Right," Syd said sarcastically.  
  
Syd's mom handed Syd the pills and medicine. She whispered that if Vaughn tried to kiss her to promptly give him the pills. This, of course made Sydney blush.  
  
"Sydney, dear, we must have a family reunion tomorrow," Irina said after a while.  
  
"Okay," Syd replied.  
  
"I'll go send Sark to pick them up," Irina replied, walking out of the room.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED..................  
  
Who are Syd's relatives? Will Vaughn's be present? How are they related? When will I post next? When will all the other characters come into play? Find out next time on............Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device. 


	6. The BristowVaughn Family Reunion

Here's a scary turn.lol.This is when it REALLY gets crazy.Just wait until I get to those dectuplets.  
  
Chapter Six: The Bristow/Vaughn Family Reunion  
  
Syd rose early. Her newly found relatives were coming. She had to get ready. She silently slipped up from the bed and snuck over to the wardrobe. Out of nowhere, an arm grabbed her. The same arm covered her mouth.  
  
She ran up the side of the wardrobe. She landed on her feet, free from the enemy's arms. She turned around, and saw...Vaughn.  
  
Vaughn began laughing hard. He clutched his stomach. Syd glared at him.  
  
"What is it with all the people glaring at me?" Vaughn said, gasping for breath.  
  
"Don't ever do that again!" Syd warned.  
  
Syd then opened the beautiful mahogany dresser. She pulled out a dress. She shooed Vaughn off after he chose his clothing.  
  
The dress was pure white, strapless, and encrusted with precious gems. She did her hair up in a bun with pearls in it for decoration. She put on lots of beautiful jewelry, a gift from her mom (for all the missed birthdays, she said). She draped a gauzy shawl over her pale shoulders and stepped back from the full-length mirror to admire the affect.  
  
Vaughn stared at Sydney. She looked drop dead gorgeous! He looked and felt like a love-struck puppy. He too was dressed up, but, in his opinion, Sydney was better looking than he could ever be.  
  
Irina popped up in the doorway.  
  
"Children, time to wake up!" Irina hollered.  
  
"We're up, Mom," said Sydney politely.  
  
Irina was struck by her daughter's beauty. No wonder half of her guards were in love with her. She was radiant. She looked a bit like a bride on her wedding day. Who would the husband be? She stared directly at Vaughn. Yep, this man would do. She had plans. And she would stop at nothing to get them accomplished.  
  
"Come now, time to meet the family," Irina announced.  
  
Syd and Vaughn followed willingly. Irina led them to a large room. She threw the doors open. Eleven people, decked up similarly to their little group appeared before them at a huge round table. She recognized only three faces out of the eleven.  
  
One was her father. Ana Espinosa and Sark were there too. Oh no! They couldn't possibly! But they had to be...Oy with the poodles already!  
  
The other guests were a raven-haired woman with blue eyes and a carefree attitude, a young brown-haired beauty with blue eyes that matched those of the raven-haired woman. The two were obviously related.  
  
And sitting next to the women, were two men with whom they were bantering lightly with. The first one was a gruff-looking flannel wearing man with dark hair and eyes and the trademark blue backwards baseball hat. The younger one, who was talking to the brunette animatedly, had bark-colored hair that was gelled up. He was wearing a Metallica tee shirt. He too looked like he was related to the older man.  
  
The small group looked like a family. She would remember this thought for a long time afterwards. She wondered how she was related to them, as they looked like more of a family on their own than they would with her.  
  
The others at the table were twins, obviously. The two girls looked exactly like her. The guys favored Vaughn. She pondered their names. Oh well, she could find out later.  
  
Irina stepped up to a microphone.  
  
"Hello all! Our special guests have arrived, so let's get this party started. We are going to pass the microphone around, stating our name, home country..."  
  
Irina could not hide her heritage at that moment.  
  
"...Our job, and some random facts about ourselves. I will begin," Irina stated.  
  
"She reminds me of Paris," the brunette whispered.  
  
The charcoal-haired woman laughed and nodded.  
  
"I am Irina Anastasia Derevko. I am from Leningrad, Russia, but that was back when it was named St. Petersburg. I am forty-seven years of age. I am a former KGB spy and am married to Jack Bristow," Irina described.  
  
At the mention of the KGB, everyone except Vaughn, her dad, her, Sark, and Anna looked surprised.  
  
"Whoa!" The charcoal-headed woman breathed.  
  
Irina passed the mike to Jack.  
  
"I am Johnathan Donahue Bristow. I am forty-seven years old. I am from San Francisco. I sell airplane parts for Continental," Jack stated, rather bored.  
  
The two dark-haired women cracked up. They promptly shut up when Jack fixed his death glare upon them.  
  
He passed it to Syd. Everyone stared at the SpyParents. They were shocked that the KGB and CIA agents, once mortal enemies, were married.  
  
"Hi, ya'll! I'm Sydney Anne Bristow. I'm from Los Angeles, California. I am twenty-eight years old. I work for Credit Dauphine. Jack and Irina are my parents," Sydney said all of this calmly, and then she passed the  
  
mike to Vaughn.  
  
"Hello! I'm Michael William Vaughn. I am thirty years old. I work at the CIA. My dad was CIA. I am from Fleury, Normandy, France," Vaughn said clearly.  
  
He passed it to the man in flannel, who looked a bit shell-shocked that there were so many spies present.  
  
"Oh, well, I'm Luke Danes. I run a diner, I'm thirty-five,  
  
from Stars Hollow, what more is there to tell," Luke said, shrugging. He nonchalantly passed the mike to his female companion.  
  
"Hi! I'm Lorelai Victoria Gilmore and I'm a coffee addict! I am thirty-two and I manage The Independence Inn and I have a daughter named Rory, who's right next to me and I'm from Hartford, Connecticut, but I've lived in Stars Hollow for more than half of my life," Lorelai rambled, a mile per minute.  
  
She was highly caffeinated! She spoke really fast. She was a bit on the bubbly side. She, in turn, passed the microphone to her daughter.  
  
"Hi! I am Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, or Rory for short. I am a Stars Hollow native, I go to Chilton Prep., and I'm seventeen!" Rory announced.  
  
Interesting, she thought. Rory passed the microphone to the juvenile delinquent next to her.  
  
"I'm Jess Mariano. I live in Star's Hollow, but I'm originally from New York. I'm seventeen, too. I love reading, like my friend over here, Rory," Jess said quickly.  
  
Rory blushed. There was SOMETHING going on between those two, thought Sydney.  
  
He then passed the mike to Anna.  
  
"I'm Anna Maria Espinosa. I am a top lawyer for Gamble and Dole Law. I am thirty-one. I am from Valencia, Spain, but I live in Moscow, Russia," Anna drawled.  
  
She passed the mike to Sark with a look of distaste.  
  
"I am Sark Alexander Khasinau. I was raised in London, England. I live here in Taipei, Taiwan. I work for Irina. I am twenty-two years old," Sark stated, poker face in place.  
  
"What's the Sark stand for?" Blurted all the women except Anna and Irina.  
  
"Sarcastic," Sark replied, face turned down.  
  
Everyone, including Jack, burst into incontrollable fits of laughter. Sark pouted.  
  
"You're all big fat MEANIEHEADS!" cried Sark.  
  
This got them laughing even harder. Sark frowned and turned his head away from the laughter.  
  
He chucked the mike at one of the Sydney twins. A Vaughn twin leapt in front of her and took the hit. He handed her the mike gently. She curtsied.  
  
"Hi, I'm Soleil d'Amore. I was raised in Fleury, Normandy. I'm twenty- eight. I work for Mes Aimes Miserables," stated Soleil calmly with a French accent. She passed the mike to the man next to her.  
  
"I am Matthew Delorme. I am from Fleury too. I am thirty and I work for FIA. I am Sol's co-worker," he said nonchalantly.  
  
He passed the mike to another woman who looked like Syd.  
  
"I am Salome Rodriguez. I am from Madrid, Spain. I'm twenty-eight and I work for Los Angeles de Guardiana," Salome said with a very Spanish accent.  
  
She passed the mike to Vaughn's last twin.  
  
"I am Maurice Estarez. I am thirty, from Madrid, and I work for the SIG," he stated with a clear strong Spanish accent.  
  
They had finished their statements. What was next?  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...................  
  
What will happen next? How are they all related? What about Will? And Dixon? And Emily? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
Did ya'll like that? Well, if ya did, review.And if ya didn't, then why should you be reading this footnote anyways? ;) 


	7. Blood Ties

Oh, yeah, I don't own Gilmore Girls either.  
  
Chapter Seven: Blood Ties  
  
"I'm sure that you are all wondering your relation to the others present. I will answer all your questions now," said Irina intelligently.  
  
Sydney was the first to speak.  
  
"Mom, am I related to Anna?" Sydney questioned, nervously.  
  
Syd's nervousness did not show to anyone but Vaughn. She did not want to be related to Anna, in any way.  
  
"Sydney dear, Anna is unfortunately related to you. She is a weird variant of a half sister to you. The KGB was pressuring me to have an affair with Sloane. I of course, would not.  
  
"I mean: A. I was married to your father. and B. Sloane is a slimy despicable weasel who is an insult to all villains. Anyway, they took some DNA from him and I and put them in the womb of one of K-Directorate's top agents, Marta Espinosa," Irina said this in a manner that matched her feelings towards Anna.  
  
Her feelings towards Anna were disgust. Anna was a slut. She went after nearly any man with facial features. The girl hit on Khasinau, for crying out loud! She had to fend her away from Jack with a crowbar. She got it from her mother, Irina thought.  
  
Sark spoke up next.  
  
"Who is my mother?" pondered Sark.  
  
"Sark, I am your mother," Irina replied sounding like Darth Vader.  
  
"And Khasinau's my father, right?" questioned Sark.  
  
"UGH! Who in their right mind would like their superior? No offense, Sydney! Your dad's Jack. I am not a slut! Anna, on the other hand..." Irina trailed off.  
  
"MOM!" Anna shrieked.  
  
"You don't have the right to call me that yet!" Irina yelled back at her.  
  
"Sarcastic, why'd you name me that? No one in their right mind would name their kid that!"  
  
"Well, what was I supposed to do? I was on major painkillers! And it's Sarcasm, not Sarcastic," Irina barked at her only son.  
  
"Anyways, it fits you! The British accent adds to your natural air of sarcasm," said Irina, hands in the air.  
  
"Hey, um, you, Crazy Paris Clone...Why am I here?" asked Lorelai uncertainty.  
  
"Who is this Paris you speak of?" Irina asked impatiently.  
  
"Probably my sister," muttered Sark.  
  
"A good friend," Rory filled in, elbowing Lorelai.  
  
"She's not like Paris. She's cool. You could have an intelligent conversation with her...unlike Bag Boy," Jess said, smirking.  
  
"Who's Dean?" asked Sydney.  
  
"My boyfriend," Rory replied.  
  
"No wonder Jess hates his guts," said Sydney, smirking.  
  
"Hey, you stole my smirk! That's my trademark!" Jess said scowling.  
  
"I suppose that you use it when Bag Boy is towering over you, being all green with envy," Sydney shot back, smirk in place.  
  
"Why would Dean be jealous of him?" asked Rory innocently.  
  
"If it were up to Jess, Dean would be your ex-boyfriend. I do believe that he has made some progress on that goal, am I not correct, Rory?" Sydney remarked in that weird form of talking that her brother frequented.  
  
Rory blushed. Jess had a surprised look on his face. How did she know so much?  
  
Syd continued," Anyway, you and Jess have a few things together that you and Dean do not possess. One thing is Chemistry. Another is the ability to talk about everything. And the last thing is having things in common. You need a lot of time to reflect on your relationship with Dean. Of course, Dean's probably too stupid to know that you two were not meant to be."  
  
"Lorelai, you are my daughter. You were born before Jack had proposed to me. Jack is your father too. I could not raise you myself at the time, so I left you with Jack's sister. She had no children and her husband was out of town at the time that she would've been pregnant. I named you Lorelai in reflection of the marriage that would happen eventually between me and Jack. I knew that I would lure him to his death in the end, just like the Lorelei in fairy tales. I never thought that you would live up to your name, however," Lorelai stood there, shell-shocked.  
  
"That's why me and Emily don't get along. She's not my mom. Hey, Ror, does that mean that we still have to go to Friday night dinners?" Lorelai said, recovering quickly.  
  
"I'm afraid so. And she's your aunt," Rory stated matter-of-factly.  
  
"Drat," said Lorelai sadly.  
  
Lorelai looked at Rory and they both smiled. They ran to Irina and hugged her tightly. Syd, Vaughn, Luke, Jess, and Jack smiled.  
  
"I love you," said Irina quietly.  
  
"Me too, Mom, me too," muttered Lorelai.  
  
"Why do I have two look-alikes?" asked Vaughn curiously.  
  
"We are not your look-alikes!" yelled Matt and Mori.  
  
"Actually, you are. Michael was born first," replied Irina factually.  
  
Vaughn looked at her, confused.  
  
"Bill told me, before They took him away..." Irina said, trailing off.  
  
"So I suppose that you are my mother," Vaughn said sardonically.  
  
"No, you and your brothers are Marie's. Those two were taken by Them. They were given to agents in the countries that you're from. My daughters, Soleil and Salome had the same thing happen to them," said Irina a bit dreamily.  
  
"And them?" Vaughn questioned, pointing to Luke and Jess.  
  
"Luke is your older brother. Your aunt's sister-in-law abducted Luke and Liz from the hospital as babies. Jess is Liz's son. That makes him your nephew..."said Irina, but was interrupted by Jack.  
  
"Jess is my son. I was trying to get over Irina and Sydney. I was on a business trip in New York when I met your mother. I was really drunk...and one thing led to another..." rambled Jack.  
  
Everyone was stunned.  
  
"Eeeeeew! I did not need to hear that!" Sydney shrieked.  
  
She then promptly began crying. Vaughn, per usual, comforted her.  
  
"I agree with my sister on this! This is like one of the two things we agree on. The first is that Anna is stupider than Dean!" Sark said, turning green.  
  
"I wouldn't know about that," Jess assured his half brother.  
  
"Anna hit on Khasinau! Alexander Khasinau! The man is old enough to be Syd's grandfather, for crying out loud!" Sark said crazily.  
  
"He is," Jack replied.  
  
"Oh boy!" Syd said sadly.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me this, Jack! I have a right to know! I mean, I mothered five of your children! I give you nine years of marriage, and this is how you repay me! Do you care about me at all! All I've ever done is love you and you hurt me time and time again!" said Irina hysterically.  
  
"Hurt YOU! You betrayed me! You killed me! I am a mere shadow of what I once was! And it's all because of you! You abandoned me! You have abandoned every child you bore! Sark - off to boarding school, Sydney - with me, Salome- Spain, Soleil - France, Lorelai - my sister's, and you want absolutely nothing to do with Anna! Who's the real parent here!" Jack yelled.  
  
"At least I didn't leave my children to a nanny! The KGB took them away from me! Every last one of them! I'm not speaking to you anymore, much less having a relationship with you! Go away!" Irina screamed.  
  
Jack stormed out.  
  
"So you and my father didn't..." Vaughn asked once Irina had calmed down.  
  
Irina looked Vaughn straight in the eyes, noting the hand that held Sydney's.  
  
"Yes. We did," she replied in a hoarse whisper loud enough to be heard by everyone.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.................  
  
Will Jack and Irina keep fighting? What are everyone's reactions to Irina's news? When will they go back home? When will Anna hit on the Vaughn brothers? What's happening on their home turf? What's Irina's story? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device! 


	8. Faking It, Or Were They?

Here's the next installment, sorry it's so late though..  
  
'Member, guys, I.do.not.own.Alias. If I did, I wouldn't be here writing Fanfiction, now would I? Thanks to all you who reviewed. Reviews are very nice, especially when you're not used to them  
  
Chapter Eight: Faking it...Or Were They?  
  
Irina held her breath. Sark turned a violent shade of green. Sydney felt faint. Vaughn was sweating. Anna had a self-satisfied smirk on her face. The others simply looked on in confusion, some not even understanding the implied meaning.  
  
"I need to go lie down," said Syd softly.  
  
"I'll go with you," Vaughn replied almost immediately.  
  
They both blushed. Sydney staggered. Vaughn, being the gentleman that he is, supported her. They went through the door behind the table.  
  
Through this door were exactly six double beds, one single, a sleeping bag, six wardrobes, some couches, a TV, some video's, a fridge, tons of junk food, and everyone's luggage.  
  
The sleeping arrangements would be chosen later. Vaughn carefully set the faint Syd on the bed. He, not feeling so great himself, lay down next to her. He glanced over at her and carefully kissed her on the forehead before drifting of into a blissful slumber filled with dreams of Sydney, SD-6 being taken down, and Sloane dying a very painful death.  
  
"I'm not feeling so well. I'm going to the restroom," said Sark nauseously.  
  
He ran from the room. Anna sneered at Irina.  
  
"Who's the slut now, Mom?" Anna said, gloating.  
  
Irina's voice was icy cold. She had had a terrible day. Her and Jack had fought, she had seen Anna, she told of her deepest secrets...The list went on and on.  
  
"I am not a slut. I did not hit on Khasinau, like you, Child. He is my father, and I'm sure he does not like to hear catcalls from women young enough to be his Granddaughter, which you are, by the way. And, as I said before, you have no right to call me Mother. Marta is more your mother than me. You inherited far more from her, even though our DNA may be similar. I do not want to hear another word from you this evening. Got it?" Irina said angrily.  
  
Anna looked scared.  
  
"Okay," came her feeble reply.  
  
Irina spun on her heel and entered the bedroom. She smiled, looking at her daughter and her friend. They were soo cute. She would awaken them in fifteen minutes.  
  
About five minutes later, Sark came in the room. The color had returned to his face. She suspected that he had thrown up. He was acting a bit too cheery.  
  
The others talked quietly among themselves. Finally the fifteen minutes had passed. Irina roughly shook Syd and Vaughn awake. Nearly as soon as Vaughn awoke, Anna began flirting with him. She tried to "entice" him by rubbing against him, trying to kiss him, and more poor flirting.  
  
After twenty minutes of this, Vaughn looked like a puppy that had been stuck in a room with a girl who dressed it in doll's clothes. The looks he sent everyone were pleading "Somebody save me!"  
  
Syd saw this and decided to help him. She winked at him. He motioned for him to hurry up. She strutted over. She had changed into a pink tank top and bleached jeans.  
  
"Anna, stop boring the poor guy to death!" Sydney said as if she were talking about the weather.  
  
"Am not!" Anna remarked childishly.  
  
"I could argue about this for almost thirty years, but I really think that his life would be very sad by then," Syd spoke, sounding a bit like her brother's.  
  
"You act like you have any claim on him! I doubt that," Anna said snarkily.  
  
"I do actually. He's my boyfriend. So back away, girl, before this gets ugly! You're ugly enough already!" Syd replied with a smirk.  
  
"Prove that he's your boyfriend," Anna challenged.  
  
"Why do I have to prove anything to YOU?" Syd said angrily.  
  
"Looks like someone's a chicken! Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!" shouted Anna.  
  
"Is that a challenge?" Syd asked.  
  
"Yes, I think so," Anna yelled.  
  
"Bring it on!" yelled Syd.  
  
"Kiss him," said Anna smugly.  
  
"Okay. Here goes," she whispered in Vaughn's ear.  
  
Syd and Vaughn's lips collided. For the third time in his life, Vaughn felt like he was drowning. Only one of those times had he actually been drowning. This was even better than the first time. He felt privileged. He had kissed Syd twice in two days! And both times were amazing. He thanked God for Anna doing this.  
  
Wow! So this was what it was like to kiss Vaughn! Syd felt...Whoa! She was loving every minute of this. She loved this only a fourth as much as Vaughn himself. At it shall be the kiss by which all others are measured, thought Syd.  
  
A few seconds later they broke apart, but not after Jack had spotted them. Everyone was shell-shocked at what they had just done. This was not good.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED................................  
  
What will Jack do after seeing Syd and Vaughn kiss? How will this affect Syd and Vaughn's relationship? What will all the others do? Will Sark be sick again? Will Anna learn her lesson? What about all the folks back home? Will Irina and Jack make up? And what about Irina's news? Find out in the next chapter of Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device.  
  
More to come later,  
  
Loren ;*  
  
Please reply and aid an author in happiness. 


	9. Unnoticed, I Wish!

And here's the next one..Don't worry, I have about twenty-something in storage.  
  
Alias ain't mine, so honey, don't get mad at me for the Season Finale.  
  
Chapter Nine: Unnoticed...I Wish!  
  
Jack speed-walked over to Syd and Vaughn. He roughly grabbed their arms and pulled them to a closet. Unbeknownst to Jack, Irina was following them. She thought that her former husband had some nerve to drag her daughter and boyfriend around like they were toys. And then, of course, there was the fact that she was really mad at Jack.  
  
Jack slammed the door shut behind them. He shoved Syd and Vaughn (especially Vaughn) against the wall.  
  
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! WERE YOU EVEN THINKING AT ALL? THAT WAS BLATANTLY AGAINST PROTOCOL! YOU KNOW THAT MR. VAUGHN! WE ALL KNOW THAT! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO LEAVE YOU TWO WITH IRINA!" Jack yelled, pacing angrily.  
  
He sent a powerful death glare at Vaughn. Syd wrapped her arms around Vaughn. She was scared. This, however, only made Jack madder.  
  
"YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF EACH OTHER, EH? YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT! I'M TELLING DEVLIN!" yelled Jack, whose face was blood red.  
  
Irina spoke up.  
  
"I did not encourage them yet. Anna egged them on. She was drooling on Michael, Syd came to help. She said that she was his girlfriend, Anna wanted proof. So they kissed. Big deal, THEY KISSED! So WHAT! Their relationship is none of your business. Or can you get that through your thick skull, Jack?" Irina argued.  
  
Jack spun to face her. He looked livid.  
  
"MY SKULL IS NOT THICK! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" Jack yelled, moving closer to Irina.  
  
"I THINK I DO! I WAS YOUR WIFE AND THE WIFE IS ALWAYS RIGHT! YOU CANNOT BEAT ME IN AN ARGUMENT!" Irina yelled back, moving closer.  
  
"YEAH RIGHT! LIZ AND JESS WERE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! AND YOU STILL BUTTED IN! YOU ARE SUCH A HYPOCRITE!" Jack yelled, still moving closer.  
  
"I WAS YOUR WIFE! WE HAD JUST STARTED SOMETHING! I HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW! IF YOU HAD JUST TOLD ME, I WOULDN'T BE MAD!" Irina yelled back, moving closer again.  
  
Jack and Irina were now so close that they were almost nose-to-nose. Sydney looked from one parent to another. She spoke up.  
  
"Mom, Dad was not honest with either of us about his past relationships, but you did return the favor! What about you and Bill? We still have no explanation to that mystery," Sydney reminded.  
  
Jack's head whipped to the side at the mention of Bill. Irina's eyes grew wide. Jack looked to Vaughn for confirmation. Vaughn looked down and nodded. Jack had a stricken look on his face. If he did cry, or show emotion, for that matter, Syd was sure that he would now if he could. Jack backed away from Irina. Syd pushed a chair underneath him.  
  
"Let me explain," Irina pleaded.  
  
Syd nodded.  
  
Irina began what would become a long tale of sorrow, endurance, power, and corruption.  
  
"It all began a few months after I had supposedly killed Bill Vaughn. I never really killed the men before, the KGB just took them into custody. This time was different. They ordered me to kill Bill and even gave me a gun. The thing that I didn't know was that the gun was filled with tranquilizer bullets. The KGB snapped a few photos, placed them in key spots, and dragged his body away." Irina paused.  
  
"A few months later they ordered extraction because They needed me for a new op. So, I faked my death like I had done years before. They picked me up. For a few months, I lived in the lap of luxury with my father in Moscow. I even got to meet Stalin. Then, I was needed for an op. Dad warned me not to take it, but I paid his warnings no heed. I had just given birth to Sark a few months before, and I needed to relax, he said." Irina shook her head.  
  
"Not listening to my father was one of the stupidest things I've ever done. But I was a patriot to my country and obeyed Stalin's every word. I left Sark with my father to raise while I was gone. I didn't know that I wouldn't come back for years." Irina looked sad.  
  
"The KGB was obsessed with Rambaldi and other prophecies, much like Hitler. They had recently acquired a prophecy. They forced me to memorize the prophecy. The prophecy went like this:  
  
One day there shall arise a son of mine. He shall hold endless power with the right training. Many shall hunt him, but few shall truly succeed in winning his loyalty. He, when coupled with the Slavic women of the line of Khas, shall form many entities of power, both good and evil.  
  
This woman shall possess unseen marks, signs that she will be the one foretold in my works. She will be consumed with fury, a burning anger. Unless prevented by vulgar cost, this woman shall render the Union unto utter desolation. This woman, with no pretense, will have had her effect, never visiting the beauty of my sunrise behind Mount Sebatico. Perhaps a single hike would have prevented her fate.  
  
She will have married another and birthed five children to him, and fleeing not willingly, she visits the depths of the sea twice in her lifetime. My descendant, too, is a parent to five, and with the same career as the woman's man, he shall perish at the hands of the woman to the world.  
  
The world will know of only two of their ten children. The rest shall be left with others, bad and good. The two children announced to the world shall be more star-crossed than I and my sweet Bella. They knowingly and not follow in their parent's footsteps.  
  
The children of my descendant and the woman, shall be special, abnormal, different, with many gifts. All ten of them will influence the world as the others. Some use their power for good, others evil. This family will undergo many trials and tribulations. Beware!" Irina finished.  
  
"Anyway, the first thing they did was lock me in a room with Bill. I was shocked that he was alive. He explained how and why. I was later informed that I had to have children with him. I refused. I had a husband and I would not cheat on him, I said. They told me that he had forgotten, gotten over me, that it all was a lie. They threatened me with bodily harm." Irina trembled slightly.  
  
"I would lie to them. Every month, however, they would give me a pregnancy test. I cheated on it. They found out and started using an error-proof one. Every time I didn't pass, they would remove an article of clothing from one of us. We would talk occasionally about things in the room. It had a bathroom and everything. Eventually, we had to give in. We were wearing next to nothing." Irina paused, and tears ran down her cheeks in rivulets.  
  
"We had to. I became pregnant. They put me on experimental fertility drugs. I was pregnant with dectuplets. They took pictures of them. And videos. Ten was a record. They even turned it into Guinness. I had beaten a world record. All of my children lived. The KGB took them away from me."  
  
"First born was Angélique Solange on November twenty-first at about nine o'clock at night. Haley Razi was born two minutes after Angélique. Then at seven forty the next morning, Mana Sibyl was born. Elita Alexis was born next, on the twenty-fifth of December. Then, the next morning, Michaela Remedy was born. On February fourteenth, Darci Miniya was born. Mardi Sema was born on Mardi Gra. Elektra Messina arrived on July fourth. On October thirty-first at twelve o'clock midnight, Lena Desdemona was born. Last of all, Cassondra Lonnit was born on December thirty-first at twelve A.M." Irina wiped the tears away.  
  
"The KGB took them away. Six years later, I was going to make my escape. I ran to where they were kept. They had brainwashed a few. They didn't want to go. I managed to escape with Angélique, Mana, Elita, and Haley. They grabbed Bill just before we were going to escape. He told me to run with the children. I did this and met up with Dad. He offered me a vacation in Rome. I went and enjoyed myself. Rambaldi had created a time machine. They had used this to go back in time and make the children Syd's age. And, then to make a long story short, the KGB fell, I started building up The Man's Organization, and so on..." Irina rambled off.  
  
Irina called out the door and a few figures walked in. Everyone was stunned.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.............................  
  
Who are the mysterious figures? Is Bill alive? How many figures are there? How will everyone react to Irina's news? Will Jack forgive Irina? What about the others? All these questions and more will be answered next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
Translations:  
  
Angélique- Angel in French Solange- Angel of Sun or Earth  
  
Haley- Hero Razi- Secret  
  
Mana- Psychic gifts Sibyl- Seer  
  
Elita- The Chosen One Alexis- Defender of Mankind  
  
Michaela- The female form of Michael Remedy- Cure  
  
Darci- Dark One Miniya- Much is expected of her  
  
Mardi- Tuesday in French Sema- Divine Omen  
  
Electra- The Shining One Messina- The Spoiler  
  
Lena- Illustrious Temptress Desdemona- Of the Devil  
  
Cassondra- Not to be believed Lonnit- Imposter  
  
Ah, here we go with the dectuplets, and I bet you're going "WHAT the CRAP" in your head. But, sweetie 'lieve me, I've written much weirder.Just ask Syd about ED's third chap.hehe  
  
Loren ;*  
  
Love you guys.Which is why I'm up SOOO late for ya'll, so YOU can get your chaps.So, be grateful.lol 


	10. Council To My Brothers

And I'm being nice and giving you the tenth chap.hehe  
  
Alias is not mine. And if it was, I'd be rich and get to boss JG, MV, LO, and VG and the others around.hehe.Fetch my drink!  
  
Chapter Ten: Council to My Brothers  
  
Irina turned around. She smiled. The others looked on in confusion. Meanwhile, a small crowd of family had gathered outside. They could hear voices.  
  
"I bet Mom and Dad are getting it on in there," Lorelai said all-knowingly.  
  
"LORELAI!!!!!!!!!!" yelled the crowd from Stars Hollow.  
  
Lorelai shrugged. She shook her head. It could be happening, she thought. It was plausible. Gosh, people these days could stand nothing dirty. Luke had the least tolerance of all. That was exactly why she loved tormenting him.  
  
"Nah! It's probably my uncle and Syd! If you ask me it's about time that he got some action. Go Sydney!" Jess remarked, smirking.  
  
"Jess. You don't even know Michael," Luke said warningly.  
  
"I might not know Michael, but I do know that my uncle and sister are getting it on in there," Jess said, trademark smirk in place.  
  
"Hey! I just saw four more girls go in there! Your uncle is one lucky man!" Sark replied.  
  
"Eeewww! Dirty," Lorelai remarked sarcastically.  
  
It was at that moment that Jess realized that Lorelai was his half sister. He shuddered at the thought.  
  
"Jess, what's wrong?" asked Rory worriedly.  
  
"Nothing," Jess grunted.  
  
"Stop acting like Luke," Lorelai remarked.  
  
"We are related. Therefore, if I acted like Luke, then you would fall in love with me too, right Sis?" Jess taunted.  
  
Boy that kid had some nerve! Saying that she was in love with Luke and calling her Sis! But you are...A little voice in her head interrupted. She squelched that thought. She and Jess had the same father! Eeeewwww! And this was the kid that was in love with her daughter! Poor Rory!  
  
Lorelai was about to launch herself at Jess and begin strangling him when the door to the closet was thrown open. This did not stop Lorelai from her attack, however. Syd burst out and did a series of back flips. After doing what seemed like forty-seven of them, she landed abruptly on her feet.  
  
She slid in between her dueling siblings. She used her arms to keep them apart. An idea came to her and she ordered Luke to hold Lorelai and Rory to hold Jess. She knew that these two would distract the fighting Bristows.  
  
The four unknown women, Vaughn, Irina, and Jack all stepped out of the closet, where they had been watching the scene before them interestedly. At certain points (like the one about him and Syd), Jack had, well, abused the walls.  
  
Syd spun around.  
  
"Who are you?" Syd barked the question savagely at the quartet.  
  
The four looked at each other. They were all gorgeous, and there was something very familiar about them, thought Syd.  
  
They looked about her age. She was a bit surprised that the men weren't going crazy over them. But then again, they were almost all spoken for.  
  
The first one had shiny shoulder-length dirty-blonde hair and emerald green eyes. She looked a bit like...Oh who was it? Her eyes scoured the room and landed on Vaughn. He was good looking, she sighed a love-struck sigh mentally. Vaughn! That's who she looked like! This girl was a female version of Vaughn! She was wearing a long, white, shimmery dress. It was sleeveless with a silken cord tying it back. On her feet, she wore white matching slippers. She looked a bit angelic.  
  
Her eyes wandered to the next woman. She had brown hair and piercing green eyes that obviously ran in the family. She was wearing a blue tank top and a blue ankle-length skirt. She more resembled her mother. But she looked a bit different. She had bags under her eyes and looked very weary, jet- lagged, and over-worked. Of course, so was she. She hid it a bit better, however. She looked a bit angry at the blonde.  
  
The next girl had black shoulder-length hair and chocolate brown colored eyes. She looked perky and optimistic. She was smiling hugely. There was something off about her. She was wearing a white quarter-length shirt and a black skirt with a slit up each side that went to her knees. On her feet were simple slip-on white tennis shoes. This showed that she was as carefree as her smile suggested.  
  
The last woman was probably the most complex of the four. She was wearing a shimmering purple peasant top with wide sleeves and a knee-length leopard print skirt. She wore a pale rose veil that covered her face from the eyes down. Countless bangles jingled at her wrists and ankles. A single necklace graced her pale neck. It was long with a crescent moon pendant in the center. The moon was made of an unknown metal or gem. Rings covered her slender fingers and large silver hoop earrings dangled from her ears. She was wearing platforms with a leather patchwork design of brown hues. The shoes made her four inches taller. She had reddish-brown hair and emerald- colored eyes, like her sister. She looked interesting to say the least.  
  
"I suppose explanations are in order," the blonde replied.  
  
"I am Angélique Vaughn. I help people. I am a guardian angel, if you will," she replied in a calm soothing tone.  
  
Vaughn had used that tone on Sydney. Syd and Vaughn put the pieces together and a moment later, knowing looks crossed their faces.  
  
The brunette snatched an invisible microphone from the blonde and began to introduce herself.  
  
"Thanks, Angié!" she said harshly, sarcasm dripping from her voice.  
  
This could get interesting, thought Sark.  
  
"I have told you that I dislike that name time and time again. Please stop calling me that, Haley," Angélique said firmly.  
  
"Whatever. I'm Haley Vaughn. You can call me Hales. I work for the C.I.A. If I tell you any more, I'd have to kill you," Haley joked.  
  
"Really? What branch?" Sydney asked enthusiastically.  
  
"SD-3," replied Haley, who was bored.  
  
"Ever heard of Sydney Bristow?" Syd asked, with an evil glint in her eyes.  
  
"Yeah. That's all Kendall ever talks about. The Ohio office is very dull. The bigshots over at SD-6 get all the good missions! It's a conspiracy I tell you!" Haley yelled angrily.  
  
"Oh, uh yeah. That's me," Syd stuttered nervously.  
  
"YOU! I've wanted to tell you something for a while!" Haley said menacingly.  
  
Sydney went into a fighting stance. Haley opened her mouth to speak.  
  
"Psyche!" she started cracking up.  
  
She rolled on the floor a bit. The peaceful one laughed a bit and hopped over Haley, who Syd was glowering at.  
  
"I'm Elita Alexis Vaughn. I am twenty-eight and I work for the C.I.A. I live in Overland Park, Kansas," she said cheerfully.  
  
"The Chosen One, eh?" said Sydney suspiously.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. I haven't used it much," she shrugged joyously.  
  
The last mysterious woman appeared.  
  
"I am Mana Sibyl Derevko. I am a sort of future incarnation of Rambaldi. I am a seer, psychic, telepath, prophet, artist, and mathematician/scientist. Embrace the future," she spoke eloquently.  
  
"We are also known as the Vaughn sisters. Or the dectuplets. Angélique's code name is Solace. Haley's is Truth. Elita's is Peacemaker. Mine is Mist. Six more of us roam the world, and it is our duty to find them and destroy the powers of evil with their help. And we must help in the Rambaldi Search for the Final Rambaldi Device. Hello family," said Mana elegantly.  
  
"It is time for you to sleep or relax, which I'm sure all of you could use. We will go back to our rooms now," Angélique said soothingly.  
  
"Angié, we haven't done the sleeping arrangements yet!" Haley screeched.  
  
"Sorry. I forgot. Mana, you do the honors," Angélique replied calmly.  
  
Mana looked at the beds and the people. She would do the sleeping bag first. Then the single bed and the others.  
  
"Anna, you get the sleeping bag!" ordered Mana.  
  
The dislike for Anna ran in the family. Mana used her telekinesis to plop Anna's stuff on the sleeping bag.  
  
"Hey!" Anna yelled, annoyed.  
  
Mana and everyone else rolled their eyes.  
  
"Sarcasm, you get the single bed," Mana barked, smirking.  
  
She used her telekinesis to unpack his clothes.  
  
She looked at the couples, sensing strong bonds emanating from a few.  
  
"Luke, Lorelai, you get the one with coffee cup flannel sheets. Jack, Irina, you get the one with the patriotic sheets. Soleil, Matthew, you get the one with suns and French writing on it. Salome, Maurice, you get the one with Spanish writing and guns on it. Jess, Rory, you get the one with books and clouds on it. And finally, Syd and Michael, you guys get the one with angels on the sheets." Mana explained, glad for all of the wishes that she was fulfilling.  
  
Some started to protest. She unpacked the clothing and that was that. The Vaughn sisters left.  
  
Sydney grabbed Luke and Jess. This made certain people a bit jealous.  
  
"You must tell them that you are in love with them," Sydney replied bluntly.  
  
"Who?" Luke asked, feigning innocence.  
  
Syd put her hands on her hips.  
  
"You know who I'm talking about. My sister and niece," Syd replied.  
  
"No," Luke said angrily, crossing his arms.  
  
"Look, I love someone, okay? I will never get to tell them how I feel if something goes wrong, or I die. Me dying is much more likely than you would think. I can't even be seen in public with him. If we started a relationship, he could lose his job or we could both die. I might never get my chance. You better try for yours. With me its life or death, for you, it's fear. They love you. They both were jealous of me taking ya'll here. What is life like without them?" Sydney said, crying softly.  
  
"Terrible," both Jess and Luke replied.  
  
"Don't live without them any longer. Tell them," Syd said, sniffling.  
  
"Dean is no challenge to you Jess. He is pathetic. Pretend that he doesn't even exist. Someone that stupid is a waste of perfectly good organs," Syd joked, wiping away her tears.  
  
And with that, she left.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.....................................  
  
Will Jack forgive Irina? Will Luke and Jess say those three little words? Why was Anna so quiet? What about the other six? What will happen with Syd and Vaughn? Find out the answers to these questions and more next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device.  
  
Well, and this is less than half-way through the madness.Confused already? Well, I was BORN confused, so you've got nothin' on me.But then again, I KNOW what's gonna happen and you don't.  
  
So.NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH! Lol.nah.  
  
Loren ;* Reviewing is a nice and beautiful art. You click the pretty button and tell me what my story is like and doing.( Just do it. 


	11. Proposals

Lalalalaala.  
  
Hey! My minions! *hugs*  
  
Here's the deal, buddies.Alias=Not mine. Though, later, in the future, I'm thinking of buying it. But by then I'll be older. And then I can publish all of this into a book.lol.I'm gonna make millions.lol.Not.  
  
Chapter Eleven: Proposals  
  
Luke and Jess steeled themselves. They knew what they had to do. They walked back to those that they loved determined.  
  
Jess wondered who Syd had been referring to. He had nothing to be afraid of, he reasoned. He had a lower chance of dying than his sister, and she couldn't tell those she loved that she loved them. He was doing this for her and himself. He had nothing to lose. Dean had never mattered. He had no challengers here. He was safe.  
  
Lorelai went over to her and Luke's bed. She grabbed her pajamas and took off her shirt, in front of everyone. Luke's face flushed. Lorelai finished putting on her pjs.  
  
This night would be interesting, Sark noted, watching the couples.  
  
They watched movies before going to bed. They saw Spy Kids, Never Been Kissed, and Dude, Where's My Car. Lorelai and Rory had insisted on Spy Kids, which they, of course had brought with them. Everyone else groaned, either because they were spies or they didn't want to watch a kids movie.  
  
"My parents aren't cool enough to be spies," Syd said along with the video.  
  
"And yet they are," Vaughn replied.  
  
Jack and Irina were disgusted with the pathetic example of the spy life. Their faces were scrunched up. Sark was making threatening motions at the TV. Anna had fallen asleep and was drooling on the floor.  
  
Vaughn was watching Dude, Where's My Car?  
  
"Hey, that girl looks like you, Syd," he remarked.  
  
"Yeah right, Vaughn. It's probably just a doppelganger," Syd exclaimed, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Hey look, it's a fire extinguisher!" Syd said, a few moments later.  
  
"Yeah. Although I'd say that you can work one better, Syd," Vaughn joked, remembering both times they had used the item.  
  
Five hours later, they got up and went to bed. Sark fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Irina and Jack crawled in the covers and snuggled. Syd and Vaughn lay back, glancing at one another every few seconds, rarely meeting eyes.  
  
Jess began first. I have to get this off my chest, he thought.  
  
"Hey Rory!" Jess called.  
  
"Yeah," Rory replied tiredly.  
  
"We have to talk," Jess said urgently.  
  
"Okay," Rory replied curiously.  
  
"Rory, I love you. I have loved you ever since we first spoke. I have wanted to tell you that for forever. Thanks to a friend of mine, it finally happened. Will you be my girlfriend, Rory?" Jess said boldly, pausing.  
  
Rory's eyes lit up. She smiled.  
  
"Really? I love you too, Jess. When I get home, I'm breaking up with Dean, okay?" Rory replied happily.  
  
Rory then kissed Jess. Both had huge smiles on their faces. They slipped into slumber a few minutes later.  
  
Meanwhile, Lorelai was talking animatedly to Luke.  
  
"Lorelai, I have to tell you something," Luke urgently interrupted.  
  
Wow, Lorelai thought. Wow. I better say something fast. He looks like he's about to cry. Do I...Yes you do...  
  
"Okay," Lorelai replied, interested.  
  
"I've kept this from you for so long. It's going to be such a relief to get this off my chest. Oh boy, here goes. Lorelai, I...I...I love you," Luke replied nervously.  
  
"Right back at ya," Lorelai replied joking.  
  
Luke's face burst into a smile from ear to ear.  
  
"Wait, I got something else to tell you. Lorelai, it might not be the right time or anything, and this is kinda fast, but I love you with every fiber of my being and...I was wondering...Will you make me the luckiest man on Earth and...Marry me?" Luke asked hesitantly.  
  
Lorelai looked into his eyes. She knew what to do. She grabbed Luke and passionately kissed him. This was soo fiery that sparks flew in the air around them literally. Syd and Vaughn could tell you that a flash lit up the room for about a minute and a sizzling sound filled the air long after the flash stopped.  
  
Luke slipped the diamond ring on her finger. Ear to ear smiles stretched across their faces as they fell asleep happily in each other's arms.  
  
Syd began crying. She wished that things like that happened to her. It had once, but she went and ruined that. But then again, if she had never told him, then she wouldn't know Vaughn. She knew never to take moments like that for granted now. She had learned her lesson. She would not waste away half of her life yearning for something she thought she couldn't have in fear.  
  
Vaughn hugged her.  
  
"Syd, what's wrong?" Vaughn asked worriedly.  
  
"Everyone has someone except me. Even Dad and Mom. I'm all alone," Syd sobbed. "You're not alone. You've got me. And that's a promise. You are going to be fine," Vaughn promised, lovingly wiping the tears from her damp lashes.  
  
"You must really get tired of me crying on your shoulder all the time," Syd sniffed.  
  
"Nope. Not really," Vaughn replied, his hands rubbing her back.  
  
"You really are perfect!" Syd exclaimed, hugging him tighter.  
  
"What was your first clue?" Vaughn joked.  
  
Syd laughed.  
  
"No seriously. Thank you. For everything. You don't have to do this. I mean, it's not in your job description," Syd said gratefully.  
  
Vaughn winced at the job description. Did she really think that he did only what Devlin told him to do?  
  
"My pleasure. The pleasure is all mine," Vaughn said truthfully.  
  
He turned over and was beginning to fall asleep when he heard her voice.  
  
"Thanks for caring," she whispered, then turned around.  
  
She was silent the rest of the night.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......................  
  
What will happen after this? What will happen when they go back? What happened at home? How will the others react to The Gilmore's news? What about Irina? When will the Vaughn sisters reappear? Find out the answers to all these questions and more next time on Kate Jones and The Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
;* Loren ;* -  
  
You like? Yes? Good. Review. Make Loren happy. Very happy. Loren update. Good for you, no? 


	12. Actions and Reactions

Hey-lo! Alias ain't mine. Hope you like this installment. I will update if you review.yadda yadda yadda.  
  
Chapter Twelve: Actions and Reactions  
  
Nearly all of those who awoke that morning, felt happy. For all of these people shared something in common, love. They were all deeply, truly in love.  
  
Lorelai awoke with a hand on her back. She looked over and saw Luke. What was Luke doing there, in the same bed with her, asked her panicked mind. Did they? Nope, she thought, looking down. She was confused. What was Luke doing here?  
  
She needed coffee. It would wake up her sleepy mind. It would help her remember. She wondered if this was one of her crazy dreams. She pinched herself to make sure. It wasn't.  
  
Suddenly, it all came flooding back to her. Her new family, the arrangements, Luke's announcement, and marriage? She looked down at her ring finger. There was a sea-green diamond ring on it. She had not dreamed last night. She decided to get rid of DenialLorelai. That Lorelai was bad.  
  
She really did love Luke. She didn't say that to just save him from a world of hurt. She was going to be Mrs. Luke Danes. Cool. She just had to tell Rory. First, she had to get dressed.  
  
Rory awoke. She turned to face Jess, who was looking at her. She blushed. He kissed her on the lips, an action that she eagerly returned.  
  
"Hey Beautiful," said Jess, yawning.  
  
"Hey yourself. Let's get some breakfast," Rory said, getting up.  
  
Irina leant over and gave her husband a kiss. That, of course woke Jack right up. They both went over to the wardrobe and changed.  
  
The Syd and Vaughn twins all woke up. They began flirting, especially Soleil. They, too, got dressed and went to the table.  
  
Vaughn's eyes slowly opened. He felt a sort of weight on his chest. He blinked a couple of times. He saw Lorelai look around, Rory and Jess kiss, and Jack and Irina kiss. Then he looked over to his chest.  
  
Syd lied, totally, utterly, and completely on top of his bare chest. He was a bit, well, totally shocked. Her hands were, once again, rubbing his chest. This time it was while she was unconscious. He began shivering, again. He was getting a deja vu vibe.  
  
Suddenly, Syd woke up and she moved closer. She moved so close that her lips were mere inches from his. He warned himself not to kiss her. She came so close and she was one second away from kissing him, when she suddenly blinked. She awoke from her trance.  
  
"I forgot to tell you about that. Sorry. It's a side affect. Breakfast's ready," came Irina's voice from nowhere.  
  
Syd blushed at the awkwardness of the situation. She was on top of Vaughn. Her lips hovered millimeters from his. Both were sweating profusely and blushing furiously. They panted for breath. If someone did not know who they were or what had happened, they might assume that they had just done something...er...Naughty.  
  
They had come very close. What had she been doing? Vaughn wasn't even resisting. Could he...No, he was the most professional C.I.A. agent that had ever lived.  
  
She mumbled a sorry. She hesitated for a moment, confused. It was now or never. This was literally true in her case. She thoughtfully leaned down the few millimeters and kissed Vaughn. They kissed slowly for about five seconds.  
  
Maybe he did like her, she thought. Her feelings for him would always remain unrequited. This thought depressed her a bit. He could never love someone as terrible as her. He was too good for her and her mother had killed his father.  
  
Oh wait! That wasn't true. Her mother hadn't done that, the KGB had. He was better than her. She did not deserve this wonderful man. She had to accept that. She had to move on. She had tried this with Noah and it hadn't worked. Worse yet, she had to see him about twice a week. She would deal with it. She always did.  
  
In a fluid moment, she broke the short, but sweet kiss and rolled off Vaughn and the bed. She sprinted to the wardrobe and grabbed some clothes. As she ran to the bathroom to change, a single thought flowed through her mind. Just let go. Set him free. That's what she had done. He was right, there was no chance of anything happening between them.  
  
A Vanessa Carlton song came to mind. Rinse. A mirror of her life. She must rinse this all away. She can't love him. She feared that he wouldn't follow her. She was lonely. She had to not cry. She can't...She won't...She must.  
  
She ran to the sink and sobbed her eyes out. She carefully applied her makeup to cover her red-rimmed eyes. As a precaution, she put on waterproof mascara.  
  
Vaughn meanwhile, lay in the bed. He was both happy and sad. She had kissed him, and she wasn't a little out of it or forced to do it. It was out of her own free will. But she ran away. She wanted nothing to do with him. She had had a moment of weakness. He had read her wrong. She did not care about him beyond a fragile friendship.  
  
If they were in a relationship, they could be killed. His heart broke. He had to stay strong. He would not cry. He would think happy thoughts. Like of his father, yet even that drew back to her. Next he tried his ex- girlfriend, Alice. That didn't work. They had broken up because of her.  
  
He decided that when he got back, he would be professional, like Weiss had told him to be. Or he would request a transfer or a new agent. He would move on. He could call Alice up. Or maybe Sherri, Madrigal, or Sandra. Kimi had been great. He would work things out. But right now, he needed to wallow. For at least two days.  
  
He lay there, bunched in the covers. A presence entered the room. It was Angélique.  
  
"Hey Bro, what's wrong?" Angélique asked in a soothing tone.  
  
Her tone did not work on him. He had used it before. He was immune to it. It only served to remind him of her. He tried to not cry.  
  
"Nothing," he snapped.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong, please," Angélique pleaded.  
  
"No. That tone might be able to work on others, but not me. Go away, I need to be alone," Vaughn said, trying to maintain a poker face.  
  
"Okay, brother. I'll be back later," Angélique sighed, leaving the room.  
  
He was alone again. Alone with the thoughts of her. They were never ending. His peace, or nightmare, was interrupted. Elita stepped into the room.  
  
"Want some breakfast, Michael?" Elita asked cheerfully.  
  
She had never called him that. And she never would. All those fantasies would never come true. She couldn't stand it anymore. He began crying.  
  
Elita went to the door. She peeked out to see if anyone had heard and then closed it. She went and sat down on the bed. Vaughn's tears became huge, mournful sobs.  
  
Elita embraced her brother. She let him cry on her shoulder. She kissed his forehead. This only made him cry harder. He was remembering when she had kissed him there. Elita tried to comfort him. He was haunted by recent memories of him doing the same for Syd.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong, brother," Elita pleaded.  
  
He responded by crying harder.  
  
"So the problem happened recently," Elita pondered.  
  
Vaughn banged on the pillow in response.  
  
"Girl troubles?" Elita asked patiently.  
  
He managed a weak nod.  
  
"Our brother and Lorelai are getting married. And your nephew and Rory are together now," Elita replied after awhile.  
  
"I know," Vaughn mumbled.  
  
Elita looked surprised.  
  
"I was watching last night. I saw Jess tell the truth. I saw Luke admit his feelings. I saw Luke propose. I even watched the sparks light up the room when they kissed," Vaughn explained, forgetting Sydney for a minute.  
  
"What happened?" questioned Elita.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," said Vaughn, crawling under the sheets.  
  
Elita left the room. As she passed Haley, she spoke.  
  
"His heart's been broken. Be careful around him," Elita warned.  
  
Haley barged in.  
  
"How you doing?" she asked, sounding like Joey from Friends.  
  
He smiled, but then a thought hit him. Joey's Pizza. He tried not to cry.  
  
"What happened to ya, Vaughny? Hey, that rhymes with Swanee!" Haley rambled.  
  
Vaughn laughed for the first time that day. It had helped him to forget about Syd for a few minutes. He needed a vacation, he needed to get smashed, he needed someone!  
  
"I hate my life. It sucks," Vaughn replied.  
  
"Been there," Haley said understandingly.  
  
"I just had to tell Michael who I worked for. He got taken away, to a safehouse in...in...I don't know where. He's gone because of me! And he looks like you! You even have the same initials! The same job! I hate my life!" Haley cried desperately.  
  
"He was a handler? For the C.I.A.?" Vaughn questioned curiously.  
  
Haley nodded. Vaughn struggled to find words to express his feelings.  
  
"Well...uh...um...At least you got a chance to have something. At least he loved you...at least you knew that. There's a chance for you two. I wish I had that. I am all alone," Vaughn sobbed.  
  
"Yeah. Mana said to tell you that she didn't foresee this. She said that if she did, you wouldn't have been paired. She says that it will all work out in the end. Each day she is praying for that end to come sooner." Haley delivered the message, dried her tears, and left.  
  
Vaughn felt a little better. He got dressed. He washed the tears from his face and waited until the red lines disappeared. He was ready to face the world. He resolved to avoid her as much as possible.  
  
He plastered on a fake smile and waltzed into the dining room. He congratulated Luke and Lorelai and Rory and Jess. He said hello to the others. He helped himself to some food and sat down.  
  
He ate some. He then looked next to him. For five seconds, five measly seconds, he let his guard down. And he looked like a deer caught in headlights. He was a broken man. So this was how Jack felt. Interesting.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......................................  
  
What will Vaughn act like with his new attitude? When are they going home? What about Syd? What will happen to the famous Vaughn sisters? What happened to Bill? Who did Vaughn see next to him? Will any other Gilmore Girls characters be in this? Why have I completely ignored Anna and Sark in this chapter? Find out the answers to all these questions and more next time on Kate Jones and the Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;* 


	13. The World Has Turned It's Back On Me

Hola, mis amigos! Gracias por los buenas notas! La nota tu leer es en Espanol! Review! Please! Alias no es de la cabeza de mi! Alias es de la cabeza de JJ Abrams! So, I'll update if I get a pretty review because I do all these chapter for like tres reviews! No esta bueno. Tu ves mi problema? Bien.  
  
Chapter Thirteen: The World has Turned its Back on Me  
  
There, sitting next to Vaughn, was Sydney. He opted to eat in silence. It would be safer that way.  
  
Sydney, however, had other plans. She had to talk to Vaughn about The Kiss. She had to explain. He deserved that. One part of her told herself to tell him the whole truth. She would. She didn't care about the consequences.  
  
"Hey, Vaughn, can we talk?" Sydney asked impatiently.  
  
"Sure. How about after breakfast, okay?" Vaughn said, struggling to get those words past his lips.  
  
He finished his breakfast as slowly as possible. They walked to the closet that they had visited before. It would insure complete privacy. And if anyone walked in, they would just assume that they were making out.  
  
"About The Kiss..." Syd began.  
  
"Yeah, about that. It didn't mean anything, right? I mean, that medicine made you a bit loopy." Vaughn lied.  
  
Sydney let no emotion cross her face. She was right. This was awkward. If it didn't mean anything to him, then it didn't mean anything to her.  
  
"Yeah, you read my mind. We...We're better as friends. Just friends. It was just a moment of weakness, you know? I mean, it's been so long since..." Syd lied, her voice trailing off.  
  
"Let's just pretend that it never happened, okay?" Vaughn asked.  
  
"Yeah," Syd replied.  
  
They both knew that this was not possible. It would have to work. Their lives depended on it. Each went over the cons in their head. They implanted these where the more delusional part of their head thought that there was still a chance for romance. They would die alone.  
  
They nodded and left the closet. Vaughn had to call Weiss. He went to a room with a phone. He dialed Weiss's number.  
  
"Hello," Eric said, drowsily.  
  
He sounded like he had a major hangover. Vaughn felt guilty. Here he was, with family and the girl of his dreams. And Eric was worried.  
  
"Hey Eric," Vaughn replied.  
  
"Vaughn?" Weiss asked incredulously.  
  
"Yep, that's me," Vaughn replied, happy that he could finally talk to someone.  
  
"Where are you? What happened? Do you know where Jack and Sydney are?" Weiss asked frantically.  
  
Vaughn flinched at the word Sydney. He was still sore.  
  
"Well, let's see. I am in Taipei. I'm in a huge, private mansion. Uhh...the mission went okay. I'm with the Bristows, we're all fine," Vaughn shrugged.  
  
"Whew. That's good. Wait a second, what mission?" Weiss sighed in relief.  
  
"To destroy the Circumference," Vaughn replied.  
  
"Whoa! And what are you doing?" Weiss breathed.  
  
"Umm...Well...Met some brothers, my nephew, and half-sisters. Saw Mrs. Bristow. Watched movies. Ate. Got some action," Vaughn vaguely replied.  
  
"Movies? Syd's mom? Family? Action? Bro, spill!" Weiss said confusedly.  
  
Vaughn flinched at Syd's name again. He should get used to this.  
  
"Where do I start?" Vaughn asked.  
  
"The action," Weiss replied dazedly.  
  
"Okay, well I got kissed three times," Vaughn began.  
  
"Oh boy! You call that action?" Weiss said sarcastically.  
  
"The first time she was sick. The second time she was forced to. The last time she ran away," Vaughn said sadly.  
  
"Who did this?" Weiss uttered.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," Vaughn said angrily.  
  
"Man, I was just trying to help," Eric surrendered.  
  
"You're all just trying to help! Well, guess what, I DON'T NEED HELP!" Vaughn yelled.  
  
"Calm down, man," Weiss said, afraid.  
  
"CALM DOWN! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN WHEN I'M A BROKEN MAN?" Vaughn yelled again.  
  
"You must be really sprung on this one. She's made you a broken man," Weiss replied.  
  
"Now I know how Jack felt all those years ago with Laura! The irony in that statement is killing me!" Vaughn moaned.  
  
"Why are you talking about Irina Derevko like that? Like she didn't even kill your father!" Weiss said angrily.  
  
"She didn't," Vaughn said in a hoarse whisper.  
  
"She's actually very nice. A trait I'm sure wasn't passed on to her daughter," Vaughn grunted.  
  
"What do you mean, dude? And why are you slamming Sydney? I thought you had a crush on her, Mike." Weiss said, regaining the ability to speak.  
  
Vaughn laughed. It was not a happy laugh, but rather, a bitter one. He sounded as if he had aged ten years.  
  
"A crush on that man killer? Ha! It's about time somebody slammed Sydney. It's always 'Sydney this' and 'Sydney that'! I am tired of Sydney. I wish that she would shrivel up and die! I hate her!" Vaughn said bitterly.  
  
"Whoa! What just happened here? Are you alright, Mike?" Weiss asked worriedly.  
  
"I'm fine. I'm better than fine. I've never felt better in my life. I think I can act professional around her now. Devlin won't ever be on my case for being too emotionally attached! I'm free at last," Vaughn lied.  
  
"Since when were you a cynic? And what about Irina and your dad?" Weiss asked.  
  
Weiss was recording the conversation.  
  
"Oh yeah, that. Irina was forced to have children with my father. Oh yeah, and they're all twenty-eight. She tried to rescue them, but only got four of the ten out. They took my dad away. She doesn't know what happened to him. I am currently mad at some of my half-sisters. Especially Mana, who started this whole mess, and Angélique, who was really annoying." Vaughn said, full of bitterness and hate.  
  
He hated himself. He hated Sydney. He hated Mana. He hated Angélique. He hated Haley. He hated Elita. He hated Alice. He hated Will. He hated Irina. He hated Jack. He hated Weiss. He hated Devlin. He hated Anna. He hated Sark. He hated everyone. He hated the world.  
  
Weiss was becoming more and more alarmed by Vaughn's scary new attitude. Wait a sec, he had read somewhere about the Five Stages of Grieving. Vaughn was obviously in the anger one. The real question was what had Sydney done that made him so cynical. Even when Vaughn's dad had died, he hadn't been this depressed. Whatever Sydney did, it had been big.  
  
"What happened, Buddy?" Weiss asked urgently.  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's better off that way." Vaughn lied.  
  
Something clicked in Weiss's head.  
  
"It's about that girl, isn't it?" Weiss asked suddenly.  
  
"Yeah. It's okay. We're better being just friends as it is. It would never work out between us. At least I got to kiss her once a day. That was good," Vaughn said tiredly.  
  
Sydney had done that? Wow, so it was worse than he thought. Vaughn had sounded years older.  
  
"I want details on why and how this happened," Weiss demanded.  
  
"The first time she doesn't remember. She was sick from the Circumference water. She had no inhibitions. Therefore, she came unto me. She doesn't remember that," Vaughn said sadly.  
  
Ouch! That had to hurt, Weiss thought.  
  
"The second time, her rival came unto me. She saved me. She said that I was her boyfriend. Her rival wanted proof. So she had to kiss me," Vaughn said, eyes full of unshed tears.  
  
Ooh! This was bad. This would take some time to get over, Weiss reflected.  
  
"The last time was the most damaging of all. I woke up with her on top of me," Vaughn said before Weiss interrupted.  
  
"How did you manage that? Did you..." Eric trailed off.  
  
If Mike and Syd had...Uh Oh! Oh that would be horrible!  
  
"I wish..." Vaughn said dreamily.  
  
Vaughn was interrupted again by Weiss.  
  
"MIKE!" Eric yelled.  
  
Vaughn laughed. It was a real laugh.  
  
"We had to share the same bed. I guess that she rolled over in her sleep. I got deja vu. She was unconsciously rubbing my chest. She seemed to wake up and leaned over and was about to kiss me when Irina warned me. Then she seemed to become herself and leaned down the millimeters to my lips. She kissed me for about five seconds, then rolled off of me and the bed, grabbed clothes, and ran from the room faster than a jackrabbit," Vaughn described.  
  
"Holy Monkey Poop! This is worse than I thought! You go get some Jack Daniels or Whisky! And if there's none of that...Irina's a Russian lady...She's bound to have Vodka! I'm going to tell Devlin that all of you are all right, Okay? You go and get smashed, got it Mister? Good luck with Sydney, Mike," Weiss said, hanging up.  
  
Vaughn stared at the phone in confusion. How did he know? Oh well, better listen to Weiss and get drunk. He slammed the phone and walked out the door. He was so wrapped up in his search for alcohol, that he didn't even notice the figure slinking away into the shadows.  
  
"So there is trouble in Paradise...hmmm," the mysterious stalker went.  
  
Vaughn asked Irina where the alcohol was kept. She told him and he went to the large cabinet. He grabbed some Whisky and Vodka. He was good for the night.  
  
Jack saw him. This looked bad. Whisky and Vodka! What had happened to the poor boy? He had a sneaking suspicion that his daughter was involved. Jack, however, said nothing. Irina surprised him by popping up and kissing him.  
  
"What was that for?" Jack asked after Vaughn had passed them by.  
  
"So he wouldn't notice you spying on him. And besides, you're sooooooo irresistible," Irina whispered seductively.  
  
"Why do I get the feeling that Sydney was involved with that?" Jack asked the beautiful woman in his arms.  
  
"Because he loves her, silly," Irina said, kissing him again.  
  
"I could get used to this," Jack flirted.  
  
Little did anyone know how much trouble one drunk man and a little alcohol could cause. Depression just added to the trouble. And if he had company...The results just were not good.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...................................  
  
What will Vaughn do? What about Syd? Who will the drunk company be? Who was watching Vaughn? Will that person tell Sydney? What about the others? Will Weiss tell Devlin? What about all the other cliffhangers? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;*  
  
REVIEW, por favor? Gracias. 


	14. A Drunken Rampage

Bonjour, mes amis (I think) You like? Another update comes your way.Reviews are happy and beautiful updates are happy.  
  
Chapter Fourteen: A Drunken Rampage  
  
Vaughn opened the bottles of liquor. He set five shot glasses in front of him. He turned on the TV. Perfect! A hockey game was on! He filled the cups with half whisky and half vodka. He had chugged two and a half, when someone came next to him. They sat down.  
  
He finished the rest of the cups. By then he was so drunk that he didn't even know who was sitting next to him.  
  
Sydney stared at Vaughn. He was obviously very drunk. He would be very easy to take advantage of. She squelched that thought quickly.  
  
Anna came over. Sydney pretended that she was drunk. She had mixed a bottle of whisky, champagne, wine, tequila, margarita, vodka, and a few special ingredients in the empty wine bottle. She was planning to use it later, but now would do.  
  
"Her, Anna, waant som whyne?" Syd asked drunkenly.  
  
"Sure," Anna said, calculating things in here head.  
  
Anna drank a few sips. She soon became addicted to the mixture. She gulped it greedily. The stuff was dribbling down her face. A few moments later, Anna was running to the bathroom.  
  
Vaughn laughed, watching Anna flee. Syd had saved that Mexican water for a special occasion. She had been secretly hoping to use it on her since training.  
  
"She did deserve that," Vaughn said drunkenly, wiping his lips.  
  
Syd decided that she wanted to drink her sorrows away. The whole Vaughn thing was wearing her down. She didn't know that this night would only cause more problems for the two lovers.  
  
She grabbed the vodka. She drank straight from the bottle. She nearly chugged the whole thing.  
  
"A woman who knows what she wants. I like that," Vaughn remarked wryly.  
  
She stared at him. Did he even know that he was so hot? Seriously, any more and she'd be...well, she didn't want to think about what she'd do to the Prince of Hotness.  
  
"Too bad the woman in my life doesn't want me," Vaughn sighed.  
  
"How could she not want you? Even I want you and I'm drunk and just met you!" Sydney exclaimed.  
  
Vaughn smiled flirtily.  
  
"And you know what makes it worse? I'm in love with her. She wants to be 'Just Friends'. I don't want to be just friends!" Vaughn said angrily, pulling at his hair in frustration.  
  
Sydney perked up.  
  
"What's her name?" Sydney asked curiously.  
  
"Sydney Bristow," Vaughn said adoringly.  
  
Syd thought for a moment. Where had she heard that name before? She knew this! What was it? Oh yeah! That was her name! Jackpot!  
  
"Hey! That's my name, too!" Syd said, drunkenly, not realizing the implications of this fact.  
  
"Wow! What a coincidence! And you two look alike too!" Vaughn exclaimed.  
  
"And you look like this guy at work who's totally hot. Only, you're hotter!" Syd said jumping up and down.  
  
A second later Vaughn wised up.  
  
"Hey, maybe you are her!" Vaughn yelled.  
  
"Maybe I am!" Syd yelled.  
  
"What's your last name?" Syd asked after awhile.  
  
Vaughn thought a moment.  
  
"Vaughn," Vaughn replied.  
  
"You are him!" Sydney squealed.  
  
Syd ran at him. She grabbed his face and pulled it towards hers. She kissed him. It was long and drawn out. This kiss gave them the pleasure that only the first kiss matched. They needed more.  
  
They kissed for as long as they could without oxygen. They then broke apart, gasping for breath.  
  
"Why don't we go somewhere more...private?" Vaughn whispered seductively in Sydney's ear.  
  
Sydney nodded. A flirtatious smile stretched across her face.  
  
The first stop was the bathroom, which they tepeed. Next, they got some dog poop. They set it up above Sark's bed. He would get a nice surprise in the morning. They stole ice from the kitchen and put it in Jack and Irina's bed. Both were extremely wild.  
  
Syd ran into the dentist that had pulled her teeth. The dentist's face was noticeably paler after seeing her. She decided that he would have to pay for what he had done to her. So, she kicked him where it hurt.  
  
Occasionally, she and Vaughn would stop whatever they were doing and start passionately kissing. Whether it would be against a wall, on a bed, or reclining on a couch, they would kiss.  
  
In a random spurt of insanity, this was after three whole bottles of alcohol, they had even kissed other people. Sydney suddenly ran up to Luke. She grabbed him and kissed him, right in front of Lorelai. He did not kiss back.  
  
Lorelai was about to slap her younger sister for doing that, when she was silenced by Vaughn kissing her. She did not react. What was going on here? Luke had gotten steamed up at this little scene. Syd, by now, had spun around a bit and ran off to find another victim.  
  
Vaughn fled in the same manner as Syd. He saw one of Syd's sisters. He shoved her against a wall and fiercely kissed her. Soleil didn't know that she was kissing Michael, she thought it was Matt. She had secretly wanted to kiss Matt for a while and now her dream was coming true! Vaughn left abruptly again. What had that meant? Did he want to be more than friends...handler...whatever he was to her?  
  
Syd had meanwhile been kissing Matthew. She turned to leave.  
  
"Soleil, where are you going?" Matt asked, breathless.  
  
Sydney turned around.  
  
"I have to think about things," Syd said, once again running.  
  
Matthew just stood there. Sydney and Vaughn repeated their little act on Maurice and Salome. They tired of that game. They had come to a part that they hadn't seen before. Basically they where lost.  
  
"Michael Vaughn! How could you get us lost again?" Sydney screeched.  
  
"I did not get us lost!" Vaughn yelled.  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
Sydney smirked at Vaughn.  
  
"Okay, fine! I did get us lost. Are you happy now!" Vaughn yelled.  
  
"Yes. Very!" Syd remarked.  
  
She kissed him again.  
  
"Hey, is that a pool?" Vaughn rasped.  
  
Sydney nodded.  
  
"You thinking, what I'm thinking, Michael?" Sydney asked expectantly.  
  
Vaughn nodded.  
  
She kissed him yet again. This time, however she started to unbuttoning a few buttons. He followed by doing the same to her. They gasped for breath, preparing for what was going to happen soon.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED..........................................  
  
How will the other characters react to their pranks? Just what are they going to do next? What about the jealous relatives? What about the kisses between the Sydney and Vaughn clones? Will Syd and Vaughn die? When are they going to go home? Find out the answers to these questions and more next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;* 


	15. Morning After

I'm gonna update these two at a time and my others one at a time. Okay? And I kinda like reviews. Now, just in case you're delusional, Alias doesn't belong to me, sweetie. It never has and never will be. Though it causes me to have MANY ideas.  
  
Chapter Fifteen: Morning After  
  
Pool- Taipei, Taiwan  
  
Syd awoke. She opened her eyes. She found herself staring into Vaughn's eyes yet again. They had to stop doing this.  
  
She looked around and became disoriented. Where was she? How had she gotten here? Had she dreamed yesterday?  
  
She focused on Vaughn below her. She thought that he looked so peaceful and relaxed. She felt herself leaning down. What was she doing?  
  
Vaughn had an instinct. It was an odd instinct, but an instinct nonetheless. That gut feeling told him to lean up. Why should he? Still, his gut told him to do it. There would be great rewards, it said.  
  
Vaughn gave in to the instinct. Sydney was stunned. Vaughn was...leaning up? How? He was asleep. And professional. He would not...  
  
Sydney's thought was interrupted by Vaughn kissing her. Whoa! What was that? Syd enjoyed the kiss for about a minute, then she rolled off Vaughn and the "bed". She was woken up fully by the frigid water.  
  
She was in a swimming pool. And she was wearing only a very low-cut towel. She was in the deep end. She swam frantically, trying to escape.  
  
Vaughn had awoken to see Sydney fleeing...or attempting to flee. He didn't know that this was because her brain was back there with him. He also couldn't help but notice that she was wearing only a towel.  
  
Each stroke Syd swam made her towel get lower. She was nearing the end of the pool. Vaughn saw what was about to happen. He had to warn her.  
  
"Sydney!" Vaughn yelled worriedly.  
  
Syd turned around and the towel fell down. Vaughn blushed and turned away.  
  
"What?" Syd asked impatiently.  
  
Vaughn peeked through his fingers, focusing on her head.  
  
"Your towel...it...uh...fell," Vaughn said embarrassedly.  
  
Syd looked down and blushed.  
  
"Oops," Syd said sheepishly.  
  
She grabbed the towel and put it around her.  
  
"You can look now," Syd called.  
  
Vaughn moved his hands away from his face. He then vaulted over the side of the raft. He swam to the stairs. He looked around and saw clothes everywhere.  
  
"What did we do last night?" Vaughn asked, shocked.  
  
Syd shrugged. She racked her memory for any details of last night. All she came up with was kissing. Uh oh! That was not a good sign. She shook off the feeling. She would not think things like that.  
  
She and Vaughn gathered their clothes and got dressed. They went to the room they had lived in for the past two days. They expected trouble and were not disappointed.  
  
Sark was glaring at them. He had an ugly mix of brown gushy junk on his face. It was disgusting and smelled for miles. Jack and Irina were trying to be calm, but failing miserably.  
  
Luke and Lorelai were arguing. Rory and Jess were trying to pull them away from each other. The twins were talking.  
  
Lorelai turned to Syd.  
  
"Why did you kiss Luke?" Lorelai demanded furiously.  
  
"I was smashed. I did not know what I was doing," Syd replied without fear.  
  
Before Luke could even get a word in, Vaughn spoke.  
  
"I was drunk too. I was acting crazy and I had no idea that I did this," Vaughn replied solemnly.  
  
"I know you kissed me, but it was by the fireplace, and you left, telling me that you had to 'think about things'!" Matthew yelled.  
  
"I know that. It was by the painting of Mom and you left! Not me, you!" Soleil yelled mindlessly.  
  
They continued their yelling match. Syd looked at Vaughn, and Vaughn looked at her. They had a feeling that they caused this. And the same thing with Maurice and Salome.  
  
"Umm...We have an explanation. We...uhhh did that." They stuttered.  
  
"Oh, really? Then...Then...why did...it feel like I was...kissing Matt?" Soleil asked weakly.  
  
" I don't know, Sis. Have you kissed Matt?" Syd asked, smirking.  
  
Soleil blushed.  
  
"No," Sol admitted.  
  
"But you do want to, right? I mean, that was why you kissed him back, right?" Syd asked.  
  
Sol turned cherry red.  
  
"It's okay, Sol. I bet Matt feels the same," Syd reassured.  
  
Sol grinned at that.  
  
"The same goes to you," Vaughn said, pointing at Mori and Sal.  
  
They blushed.  
  
Anna finally arrived from the bathroom.  
  
"Hey," Anna said weakly.  
  
She then ran back to the bathroom faster than a jogger.  
  
"It's time to go," Irina said melodically.  
  
"You must leave now," Angelique warned.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...................................................................  
  
What will happen to Anna? What about Matt, Sol, Sal, and Mori? How will they leave? What will happen next? What about the other characters? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
Loren ;*  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! 


	16. Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Had some problems uploading this chap. But whatever. No note. Besides. Alias ain't mine and PLEASE review.  
  
Chapter Sixteen: Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow  
  
Irina reached behind her back. There were lots of baskets behind her. Each basket had different objects in it. Irina handed out the baskets.  
  
Sydney's basket contained pills, medicine, a square piece of safety glass, her wig and scraps of leather and mesh, a jacket, a gurney sheet, some lipstick, a note, another note, some clothes, jewelry, a photo, a third of a pendant, a folder, some miscellaneous pictures, some videos, a cd, waterproof mascara, an empty wine bottle, and a button. The pictures included kisses in various locations, other couples, Sark with dog poop on his face, Anna drooling, and nasty pictures of Sloane.  
  
Syd read the note curiously. It said:  
  
Darling Sydney,  
  
I know that you are wondering what these things have to do with you. Maybe you recognize a few of them. The pills are for Vaughn, remember what we talked about. The glass, well, it was acting as a barrier between the two of you before.  
  
The clothing and jewelry are yours and they will help to remind you of special events that happened when you wore them. The gurney cover, Vanessa Carlton cd, and button are reminders of the time you have spent with your lover. The movies and necklace are gifts from your twins.  
  
The family photo is to remind you of us. You could place it in that nice, little, antique, silver picture frame Michael gave you. Of course, I know that he is still a sore spot for you. If you ever need to talk, you've got my number.  
  
The mascara is for all the heartbreak you have and will endure. You should wear it daily. The wine bottle and pictures are for torment and blackmail. The lipstick is there because you have kissed many times and many people during your short stay here.  
  
The jacket is so you can warm up, and you do not freeze like I did back when I modeled for Victoria's Secret. Did I ever tell you that your father and I met at a shoot? Anyways...Last of all, the folder is filled with the truth. I know how you crave it. I hope that we shall see each other often.  
  
Love,  
  
Mom  
  
Sydney cried while the others investigated the bags. Vaughn found a sheet, battered fire extinguisher, a shot glass, and a towel. A grin came to his face as he realized the significance of the objects.  
  
Everyone had something special. Hugs and kisses went all around. Tears flowed down many a cheek. They grabbed the baskets and luggage and went off on their ways, promising to visit on Christmas and Easter.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.....................................  
  
What will happen to the others? What about the cliffhangers? What about Jack and Irina? Why do I mostly focus on Syd and Vaughn? When will there be some fluff? Or Sneaky Francie? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;* 


	17. Crying Amongst The Crates On A Cargo Pla...

YAY! My chapter uploaded! Whoo! I'm giving you so many updates you won't be able to stand up.*flashes a smile* I LOVE you, readers! :D And Alias does not belong to me or this woulda happened on Alias already.  
  
Chapter Seventeen: Crying Amongst the Crates on a Cargo Plane  
  
In the Air- Cargo Plane  
  
Vaughn followed Jack and Sydney on the cargo plane. He suddenly felt depressed. He wanted to cry really badly. He would not, could not cry. Especially in front of Syd and Jack.  
  
"I'm going to take a sleeping pill and go to sleep in the bedroom, okay guys?" Syd announced.  
  
Vaughn and Jack nodded. Syd left shortly to go to sleep. Jack waited a few moments, until he was sure that Syd was asleep. He looked at Vaughn.  
  
"You can cry now," Jack stated.  
  
Vaughn stared at Jack oddly. How had he known?  
  
"It's okay, really," Jack said when he got no response from Vaughn.  
  
"I won't," Vaughn said stubbornly.  
  
"What did my daughter do to you?" Jack asked impatiently.  
  
"And so the point becomes clear," Vaughn said, joking.  
  
Jack glared at him. This seemed to be too much for even Vaughn to take. He burst into tears. Jack looked on nervously.  
  
"She must've done something really bad," Jack stated.  
  
"Jack, I appreciate your concern, but what your daughter did is none of your business. And, for the record, I'm fine," Vaughn replied curtly, sniffling.  
  
"Mr. Vaughn, I know what it is like to have a broken heart," Jack snapped.  
  
"Funny. I never thought you had one," Vaughn said spitefully.  
  
Jack looked incensed at this. He was about ready to kill him, when he suddenly calmed down. He looked over to Vaughn.  
  
"You know, if any other man said that, I would've killed him. Yes, even Mr. Tippin. But, I respect you, and I know that the wounds my daughter has inflicted upon you must be great for you to act this way. Tell me what she did, talking it out will make you feel better," Jack said, thoughtfully.  
  
"Well, I'm sure nothing would make me feel better, but it's worth a shot...Sydney..."  
  
He said her name as if it pained him to say the six measly letters. As if a thousand knives were poking him. The wounds ran deep.  
  
"She pulled...a Rory." Vaughn breathed deeply.  
  
Jack was puzzled. What did his granddaughter have to do with this?  
  
"Jess told me that she did something that could make or break a relationship to him. Then she ran away. Confusion ensued. She was "confused" at the time, therefore she went to Washington and didn't speak to him for nearly three months. She...she did the same thing to me, except for the talking thing," Vaughn explained sadly.  
  
Jack thought the facts over in his head. It was his specialty. He could solve any crisis in two minutes or less. Suddenly, what Syd had done came to him.  
  
"She kissed you, didn't she?" Jack said pensively.  
  
A grief-stricken Vaughn simply nodded.  
  
"Well, at least she didn't give you her "let's just be friends" speech," Jack stated optimistically.  
  
At Vaughn's stricken look, Jack's face formed into a frown.  
  
"Okay, so she did give you the speech. But that doesn't mean that she wasn't lying."  
  
Vaughn gave him a look.  
  
"I know that you can tell when she's lying, but you were too focused on your own lies to notice hers," Jack stated impatiently.  
  
"Now, here's the plan-" Jack began, but was interrupted by Vaughn.  
  
"That's not the worst of it. We've kissed more than that. We've kissed at least five times. I don't know the exact number, because when we were drunk..." Vaughn trailed off.  
  
"FIVE TIMES AT LEAST!" Jack hollered.  
  
Vaughn meekly nodded.  
  
"Well, I'll change the plan. I have a scathingly brilliant idea. It involves you, Sydney, Devlin, and..." Jack's voice faded to a whisper.  
  
"And now, I need you to know that I can't carry out this mission. I'm sure my lovely..." Jack's voice trailed off yet again.  
  
"You will report to the agent in question whenever you get a Mary's Bookstore..." Jack's voice faded in and out of hearing range once again.  
  
"Good luck, Slick, good luck," Jack finally ended the speech.  
  
Was he talking to Sark? Slick? Who was her dad patting on the shoulder. Syd fell into the realm of unconsciousness as Vaughn smiled ear to ear.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...................................  
  
What is Jack's plan? Who is this mysterious agent? What's up with Jack's new attitude? What was Jack doing at a Victoria's Secret shoot? What about Mary's Bookstore? What about the other cliffhangers? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;*  
  
I appreciate your reviews! 


	18. Home Sweet Home

Okay! Here's me stuffing ya'll chock full of updates! Remember: Alias is not mine. I do not own it in any way, shape, and/or form. And review because they make me happy. Very sorry I haven't updated in a while.Time just slips away from us sometimes.  
  
Chapter Eighteen: Home Sweet Home  
  
Los Angeles- Sydney and Francie's House  
  
Sydney tiredly opened her front door. She lugged huge bags behind her.  
  
"Francie?" Syd shouted.  
  
"Yeah. I'm in your room," Francie yelled back.  
  
Sydney went inside her room. Francie lay on the ground sorting through outfits.  
  
"Hey Syd. Have you worn this?" Francie asked, holding up a black lacey dress.  
  
"Yes. It's too see-through, though. And too tight," Syd replied, a bit scared that Francie was going through her mission clothes.  
  
"When do you wear these skimpy clothes?" Francie asked suspiciously, holding up a leather bustier.  
  
Syd blushed.  
  
"Business trips," Syd replied.  
  
Francie stared at her incredulously.  
  
"Well, get ready for a night to party, missy. Oh, you have got to wear the blue rubber number!" Francie said excitedly.  
  
"Is Will coming with us?" Sydney asked.  
  
"No. Probably not. This new story has kept him real busy, being a celebrity, you know," Francie said, rifling through her own closet.  
  
"Celebrity?" Sydney asked, a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.  
  
"Oh, right. You weren't here. Will got a huge front page story published," Francie replied, putting on her make-up.  
  
"What was the story about?" Syd asked uneasily, putting the finishing touches on her outfit and make-up.  
  
"Something called SD-6," Francie replied nonchalantly.  
  
"Oh," Syd said trying to be nonchalant about it.  
  
SD-6. This meant trouble.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED..........................  
  
What will happen to Will? What about the club? When will Francie find out about Syd's trip? What about the other cliffhangers? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
Loren ;*  
  
REVIEW, Sweeties! I'm not stuffing ya'll full of these updates for no reason. Hehe. 


	19. Encounters With The Handler

Hi! *stuffs another update* Love you guys! By the way, my name's JJ.Yeah, really *eye roll*.Obviously Alias is NOT mine.But I can dream, can't I?  
  
Chapter Nineteen: Encounters With The Handler  
  
Issues  
  
Francie and Syd drove to this little club called Issues. Their friend, Cherise, owns it. They met one day at college in between classes. She was running around the track, and she fell down. Syd helped her up. And, thus, a friendship formed.  
  
Cherise ran over to us. She hugged Syd, then Francie. Cherise has cherry red hair and blue eyes. She has a bubbly personality. Today she was wearing a glittery red tank top and bleached jeans.  
  
"It's so great to see you guys! It's been awhile since you last came in," Cherise said excitedly.  
  
"Yeah, Syd was on a business trip that ran a little long," Francie replied absently.  
  
"Francie, it wasn't a business trip. It was more of a family reunion," Syd replied.  
  
"Whatever," Francie replied nonchalantly.  
  
"I didn't know that you had family outside of state, Syd. As a matter of fact, I didn't know you had any family," Cher replied.  
  
"Yeah. I didn't know about a lot of them, myself. I met my: Brother- Sarcasm  
  
Sisters- Lorelai, Soleil, and Salome  
  
Half Sisters- Anna, Angélique, Haley, Elita, and Mana I've heard of: Michaela, Mardi, Darci, Elektra, Lena, and Cassondra (also my half-sisters)  
  
Half Brother- Jess  
  
Niece- Rory  
  
And My Mom- Irina," Syd counted off on her fingers.  
  
"Syd, your mom's dead," Francie replied.  
  
"No, she's alive," Syd stated.  
  
"I know because she was the one who organized the whole thing," Syd smirked.  
  
"How could she have survived a car crash?" Francie asked skeptically.  
  
"Umm...She swam out of the car and she got to land. But, she was hit on the head and got amnesia. Then she remembered everything after a while. She couldn't contact me and we met at an account meeting. She's like the lead account manager of one of our rivals," Sydney lied.  
  
"Wow," Francie breathed.  
  
"How do you have all those half siblings?" Cher asked curiously.  
  
"Gimme a Guinness," Syd yelled.  
  
Cher returned with a beer.  
  
"I mean the book, Silly," Syd said.  
  
Cher handed her the book. Syd opened it to the page with the record of children born at a time. It read:  
  
Though there are many contenders for this record, none has birthed such extraordinary children as the couple pictured. Children that are born in large quantities usually have birth defects or are all really small, with fatalities occurring often. Nothing of the sort happened with these dectuplets. It is as if they were blessed by some higher power.  
  
The proud parents are Irina Derevko and William Vaughn. Their beautiful children are listed and pictured below. This record was set 28 years ago in Moscow, Russia. They were born at irregular intervals.  
  
Baby's names:  
  
Angélique Solange  
  
Haley Razi  
  
Mana Sibyl  
  
Elita Alexis  
  
Michaela Remedy  
  
Darci Miniya  
  
Mardi Sema  
  
Elektra Messina  
  
Lena Desdemona  
  
and  
  
Cassondra Lonnit  
  
Cher turned white.  
  
"What's wrong?" questioned Francie.  
  
"I...I...just think m-my bb-brother s-should s-ssee this..." Cher said nervously.  
  
She brightened up.  
  
"Anyway, you have to meet my brother. He's so sweet and fun and compassionate and hot. He speaks French too!" Cher said excitedly.  
  
Cher pulled them towards her familiar brother. Sydney was shocked. There was her handler, nursing a beer. Was this a bad time to run out? It was.  
  
"This is my brother M-" Cher said, but was interrupted.  
  
"-ichael Vaughn," Sydney finished.  
  
Cher looked at her quizzically.  
  
"We work together," Syd explained.  
  
Vaughn suddenly looked up. He did a double take. Syd was there. Oh boy! How was he supposed to be drunk with her around? Nothing good would come of this.  
  
"Sydney. Hi," Vaughn said, compartmentalizing his emotions.  
  
"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Syd said, faking cheerfulness.  
  
Cher was confused. Michael worked for the CIA. Syd worked for a bank. How could they work together?  
  
Francie suddenly reached out and hugged Vaughn.  
  
"Do you two know each other?" Syd asked confusedly.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...............................  
  
How do Vaughn and Francie know each other? What will happen at the bar? What about Will? What about Cher's doubts? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
Loren ;*  
  
Review! 


	20. Unexpected Complications

HEY! Five chaps in one day.hehe.Ya'll deserve it though.Never mind that I get more reviews for other fics.*sigh* Oh, REVIEW. And I don't own Alias. So there.  
  
Chapter Twenty: Unexpected Complications  
  
"Yes. He was my best friend in elementary school," Francie said.  
  
Francie and Vaughn stopped hugging.  
  
"You know, I thought you were cute in First Grade, but, now, you're giving yourself a run for your money!" Francie said flirtatiously.  
  
Vaughn smirked at Francie's attempt at flirting. Syd frowned. Flirting with Vaughn was her job!  
  
Francie mouthed "Ask her to dance!" to Vaughn. Vaughn shook his head no. He would not stir the pot for more heartbreak, no matter what Jack told him.  
  
"Mike, we have to talk," Francie pleaded.  
  
Vaughn nodded and followed Francie to the phone booths.  
  
"I know you like Syd! Why don't you ask her to dance?" Francie asked frustratedly.  
  
"It's against protocol," Vaughn stated bluntly.  
  
"Screw protocol! Why can't you?" Francie yelled.  
  
"You want to know? You really want to know? I have had a very bad experience with the girl that I'm in love with and I don't want to get hurt again! I have a broken heart, okay!" Vaughn screamed.  
  
Francie's eyes widened.  
  
"What happened to you, Mr. Happy Pants?" Francie asked confusedly.  
  
"SHE happened to me. When the girl of your dreams kisses you FIVE TIMES, five stinking times, it's hard to forget about! Especially when she said that it didn't mean anything!" Vaughn said angrily.  
  
"Did Syd-" Asked Francie.  
  
Syd came in the room, interrupting Francie's question.  
  
"Hey guys! Cher said that it's dance time. And Francie, there's a guy who wants your number out there," Sydney said cheerfully.  
  
They walked into the dance floor. Cher pushed Syd and Vaughn together. Just as they hit the dance floor, a slow song came on. Just their luck.  
  
Syd didn't mind being so close to Vaughn. Vaughn could have killed his sister right then. That did seem to be becoming a regular occurrence, now that he thought of it.  
  
Syd gazed into Vaughn's eyes. She mentally sighed. When this whole spy mess was over, she knew the first thing that she would do.  
  
Vaughn had what would soon become his last conscious thought of the night. Ahh! Was the Coke poison? He felt odd, light-headed, and hungover. But he hadn't drunk since the incident.  
  
Suddenly, without warning, Vaughn leaned down and kissed Syd roughly.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED................................  
  
What about Will? What is happening to Vaughn? How will this effect Syd? What about Syd's parents? When will they go on a mission? What about the other cliffhangers? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;* 


	21. Pent Up Emotions And Late Reactions

HEY! Update! Here we go.Alias does not belong to me. I do not own it.  
  
Chapter Twenty-One: Pent Up Emotions and Late Reactions  
  
Syd's jaw would have dropped, if Vaughn wasn't kissing her. She thought that he wasn't interested in her. There was still something weird about this, though. She just couldn't put her finger on it.  
  
They broke apart, breathless.  
  
"Syd, can we go somewhere more secluded?" Vaughn asked with a dangerous glint in his eyes.  
  
She didn't like how that looked. But she said yes anyways.  
  
Syd and Vaughn waltzed out of the club.  
  
"Francie, don't wait up," Syd said, waving farewell to her friend.  
  
Francie winked.  
  
"Good luck," Francie whispered.  
  
Syd got in Vaughn's car. Vaughn drove to his apartment. He opened the door and gave Syd a brief tour.  
  
Syd sat down next to Vaughn on his bed. She leaned towards him. Vaughn then did something that was way against protocol.  
  
Vaughn began unbuttoning Syd's jacket.  
  
"Vaughn?" Syd questioned, after Vaughn had finished the task.  
  
"Who's that?" Vaughn asked confusedly.  
  
"Michael?" Syd tried again.  
  
"Who?" Vaughn asked.  
  
"You. What are you doing, and why are you doing it?" Syd asked, frustratedly.  
  
"I think, Ms. Gorgeous One Who Should Be Worshipped For Her Beauty...That I'm trying to seduce you," Vaughn replied, shaking his head.  
  
"I'm flattered. But why?" Syd asked, confused.  
  
"I don't truly know. All I know is that you're pretty and I have feelings for you and I'm tired of not acting on them. Other than that, I know nothing," Vaughn replied calmly.  
  
Vaughn shrugged.  
  
Syd's jaw dropped. She recovered quickly.  
  
"You know, how about I try to jog that memory of yours?" Syd asked flirtatiously.  
  
"I'm down with that. Just as long as you don't invoke pointy things in this," Vaughn agreed.  
  
Syd laughed. She moved closer to Vaughn.  
  
"I was thinking of a more...amorously intimate way. You get my drift?" Syd said seductively.  
  
"I think I do," Vaughn said dreamily, moving closer to Sydney.  
  
Sydney and Vaughn's lips met. They felt lighter than air. They were happy and at peace for once in their short lifetimes and they enjoyed it.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...............................................  
  
What will happen to Will? What about Syd and Vaughn? Why was Vaughn acting so odd? What does Francie think about this? What about Cher's doubts? What about the other characters? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
Loren ;*  
  
REVIEW or no Updates! 


	22. Blue Rubber Dresses And The Price Of Cur...

HEY! Update number two! REVIEW! If I owned Alias I'd be worried about ratings instead of reviews.  
  
Chapter Twenty-two: Blue Rubber Dresses and the Price of Curiosity  
  
Vaughn's Apartment  
  
Vaughn opened his eyes. What had he done last night? He saw the familiar surroundings of his humble abode. So he was at home...  
  
He then looked up. He got a nice view of Sydney's cleavage. He had to look away. He couldn't look away, because, however, Syd's lips were still on top of his. Only bad things could come from this. They always did. He shivered at the thought. He had better wake Syd up now.  
  
Vaughn shook Syd's shoulder.  
  
"Syd, babe, you must wake up. Come on now, Hun. Upsie-daisy!" Vaughn said tiredly.  
  
"Five more minutes, Vaughny," Syd said tiredly.  
  
Syd rolled over.  
  
"Wake up! Anna and Sark are here and Sloane just gave you a mission. I have to give you the counter mission," Vaughn lied.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm up!" Syd said groggily.  
  
She leaned down and kissed Vaughn. Vaughn was once again shocked. Syd too was shocked. Suddenly the events of last night came to mind. She jumped up with a start.  
  
"Oh, I'm not supposed to be here! I've got to get home!" Syd said, running around.  
  
Suddenly, without warning, Syd's phone rang. She fumbled to pick it up.  
  
"Hello, this is Sydney. Talk to me!" Syd said, picking up her jacket.  
  
Francie was on the other end.  
  
"Did I wake you, Syd? I mean, you didn't come home last night and..." Francie said frantically.  
  
"No. Michael did. I'm fine. What's up, Fran?" Syd said reassuringly.  
  
"Ooh! Michael, you have to tell me how it went! But not now, when you get home. Okay, Sweetie?" Francie said, in a gossipy voice.  
  
"Okay, Fran. So what did you have to tell me?" Syd said, smiling.  
  
Vaughn, meanwhile, was making breakfast.  
  
"Hey, Fran, Michael's making breakfast. I'm going to be eating. You just tell me what you have to say, okay?" Syd stated.  
  
Syd sat down at the table. Francie began sobbing over the phone. What was wrong? Syd wondered as she ate her eggs, bacon, toast, and hash browns.  
  
"Oh, Syd! It was horrible! He...He...Will, he's...been shot!" Francie sobbed.  
  
"What?" Syd asked disbelievingly.  
  
"Will was shot by this short, evil, pointy, rat-like guy. He was shot through the brain. It's a wonder he still survived. He's in a coma at Our Lady of Truth. It's so awful!" Francie wailed.  
  
Syd burst into tears. She hung up the phone. SD-6 had...  
  
Vaughn walked over to Syd. He hugged her.  
  
"What's wrong?" Vaughn asked.  
  
"Will, he's been shot...by Sloane," Sydney cried.  
  
Vaughn wrapped his arms tighter around Sydney. Sydney cried into his shoulder. Loud, mournful wails elicited from Sydney's beautiful face. Sydney calmed down some.  
  
Vaughn turned to Sydney and whispered a few words.  
  
"Cherie, it's going to be all right. We'll take SD-6 down and make Sloane pay for his sins. You won't have to do this anymore. You'll be free. If there's one thing I know about you, it's that you rise from the ashes, like a phoenix. You're going to be okay," Vaughn said tranquilly.  
  
"Really?" Syd asked, sniffling.  
  
"Yeah," Vaughn said kindly.  
  
Vaughn meant to kiss Syd on the cheek. Really he did. Syd turned her head at the wrong time and they kissed. He was doomed.  
  
They broke apart, slowly. Syd turned around, grabbed her jacket and left.  
  
"Thanks for everything," Syd said, opening the door.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......................................  
  
What about Will? How will Syd deal with this? Why did Syd and Vaughn kiss twice in a chapter? What will Syd tell Francie? What about the SpyParents? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;*  
  
REVIEW! 


	23. Hey, Mom! What's Up?

Sorry about the mixup.Accidentally uploaded the wrong chap in this fic.  
  
Okay.So I took a day off. Big Whoop. It's not as if anyone cared. *sigh* *mutters to self* Push aside low self esteem.Ignore it.Ignoring doesn't help. You know that, Loren, you big dimwit.Hey! I'm smarter than like everyone at school. You live in Kansas, you dolt! Ah, shut up! Which one of you's yelling at me, Mary or Kris? Ah, who cares.I have enough time to yell at myself.Like before I go to sleep. If I'm this insecure, do you THINK I actually own Alias? Seriously.The world IS getting stupider.  
  
Chapter Twenty-three: Hey, Mom! What's up?  
  
CIA HQ  
  
Sydney had visited Will in the hospital for a brief moment. He was in a coma, he wouldn't know, she reasoned. And Vaughn had paged her.  
  
Syd drove to the CIA offices. She walked in, and was promptly dragged off by her father. They walked into the office.  
  
Syd spotted her mom, Vaughn, Devlin, and Barnett.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?" Syd blurted out.  
  
"Agents Bristows, Dr. Barnett, you have a mission. Vaughn, detail, now," Devlin barked.  
  
"Yes sir. Sydney, Jack, Irina, you will be infiltrating a party that is being thrown for the co-founder of the Alliance, Alaine Christophe. Irina, you will have to seduce Christophe to gain access to the rooms in his mansion. Your alias is Skye Sanchez, a single Spanish woman from Barcelona. We have learned that Christophe has a penchant for beautiful Spanish women..." Vaughn began, but was interrupted by Devlin.  
  
"And who could blame him. Irina is sure the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I'd love to have this fine specimen seduce me..." Devlin trailed off, kissing Irina's hand.  
  
Vaughn and Jack glared at Devlin. Irina wiped her hand on her skirt.  
  
"ANYWAYS, the party's at Buckingham Palace, on count of Christophe's "connections". He is rumored to have an ongoing affair with the queen, and it's his 60th birthday. Sydney, you are going as the loving daughter of Jack. You alias is Elyse Vartan, you are married to Michael Vartan. Jack, your alias is Pierce Bond, you are married to Chanel Bond, who is..." Vaughn was interrupted by Devlin yet again.  
  
"Barnett's gonna be your wife, Jack, or should I say Pierce..." Devlin teased smugly.  
  
Barnett grinned. She had wanted this for so long. She was literally giddy.  
  
Irina couldn't help but notice that Barnett looked like the proverbial cat that had eaten the proverbial canary. This woman was trouble, right here in CIA City. She would have to watch herself, she thought with a smirk.  
  
Jack did not look pleased.  
  
"How do you feel?" Syd asked Jack.  
  
Jack briefly half-smiled.  
  
"Let's just say he's lucky he's my superior. Pretty darn lucky..." Jack grunted.  
  
"Getting back on task, we believe that there are important pieces of intel that are vital in the descruction of SD-6 contained herein the man's briefcase. The briefcase is locked up in the safe in his room. The safe can only be broken with the password Christophe has buried within his memory, his fingerprints, voice identification, iris scan, and the combination of course. It is rumored that the password has to do with Christophe's daughter, Marina, or his prized cockatoo, Prissy. So make sure to mention these things. You are a British family..." Devlin interrupted.  
  
"I'm sure you won't have to fake the loving care, Jackie-boy," Devlin teased.  
  
Jack grew livid.  
  
"That woman is not to be trusted!" Jack yelled.  
  
"Go see Barnett about your problems. And while you're at it, take her out to dinner and kiss her for me, eh?" Devlin smirked.  
  
"ANYWAYS, Jack, you try to get the password and number out of Christophe, Barnett, you do that too. Sydney, you are going to explore the inner bellows of the place, looking for anything of value to help us bring down SD-6 and the Alliance. I'll be going as your back-up, your uhh..." Vaughn stuttered the last part and Devlin, once again interrupted.  
  
"He's going to be your husband," Devlin said, leaving it like that.  
  
Devlin looked around.  
  
"Any questions?" Devlin asked.  
  
Everybody shook their heads no.  
  
"Good, you will be getting the gadgets in a day or so. You leave in three days," Devlin replied slowly.  
  
He shooed them all off.  
  
Jack and Irina, however stayed behind.  
  
"Ben, we have a problem. I can't do this. I am taken," Jack replied.  
  
Devlin snorted.  
  
"Yeah right! Who?" Devlin said skeptically.  
  
"Irina," Jack replied steely.  
  
"Prove it," Devlin challenged.  
  
Jack looked at Irina. She nodded.  
  
They kissed, they kissed, and THEY KISSED. Devlin was pleading for mercy.  
  
"Please, I beg of you, no more! My eyes, they're burning! That is wrong on so many levels! Stop it!" Devlin cried as he sank to the floor, crying and holding his head.  
  
"That proof enough, Benny-Boy?" Irina asked maliciously.  
  
Devlin whimpered. He suddenly got up.  
  
"That was unprofessional. That is a federal offense. That violates rule number one in the CIA handbook: No agent-asset relationships are permitted. This is a violation of protocol in not only the CIA, NSA, FBI, and ATF, but also in every workplace as of April Fourth, 2003 by the Anti-Inter-Office Relationships Regulation of 2000, as organized by President George Bush," Devlin recited from memory.  
  
"And you call hitting on my wife professional?" Jack bellowed.  
  
Jack and Irina stormed out.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.....................................  
  
What about Bush's law? Will Devlin get Jack in trouble? What about Will? And What about Syd's "cover"? Or Barnett and Jack on a mission? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
Loren ;*  
  
REVIEW! It'll help get rid of my insecurities.lalala 


	24. Prepping

Sorry about the shortness.This set of chapters is a short one.*giggles* Sorry about the lack of updates.Remember, I don't own Alias. Please review.  
  
Chapter Twenty-four: Prepping  
  
London, England  
  
Jack, Irina, Sydney, Barnett, and Vaughn prepared to board the train. Their cover for getting on the train was a family on vacation. Jack was playing Sydney's dad, Irina her mom, Vaughn her husband, and Barnett her aunt. Jack and Irina had got the tickets.  
  
"What a lovely necklace that is, Miss," said the clerk, Barbie.  
  
Irina smiled.  
  
"Oh, yes it is. My wonderful husband gave it to me on our 47th anniversary. That's the silver one. Anyways, we're going to do some bonding with our daughter and her husband," Irina chattered excitedly.  
  
"Oh, really? That's simply marvelous!" Barbie chirped.  
  
"Bye," Irina said as they boarded their compartment.  
  
She waved. As soon as they stepped inside the cabin, they grabbed their clothes out of the bags. Vaughn looked around and blushed. Irina stripped off her shirt. Jack openly stared at her.  
  
Barnett, not wanting to be outdone, did the same. Vaughn had the misfortune of looking up at that exact moment. He gagged. He looked down quickly.  
  
Syd had already changed into her dress. The zipper was stuck. She needed help.  
  
"Vaughn! Come help me with my dress," Syd yelled.  
  
Vaughn came to her. He unstuck the zipper and zipped her up. He stared at her as she turned around. Syd's dress was yellow and went to her knees. It had fringe all over it, which dangled down.  
  
Barnett noted this down. Irina had happened to have the same problem, with the same solution. She noted this too.  
  
Irina's dress was red. It hung off her shoulders and went down to her mid- thigh. The fabric was shiny and it was backless. She had on matching red heels that looked like Dorothy's in the Wizard of Oz. She was wearing a black wig that was up in a loose bun with a few strands hanging loose.  
  
Sydney was attempting to style her corn-colored hair into a fwoop on top of her head. She slid on a diamond choker that contained a comm. unit. She put on her gold strappy stilettos and admired herself in the mirror.  
  
Vaughn and Jack were wearing tuxes. To alter their appearance, both had dyed their hair and had stubble showing on their faces. Barnett was wearing a black skirt with wide slits up to her hips and a teal top that plunged much lower than it should have.  
  
They hid the equipment on them and they were ready to rumble in only three hours.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.........................................................  
  
What will Barnett do? What about Will? How will the mission go? Find out next time on Kate Jones and the Last Rambaldi Device!  
  
- Loren ;*  
  
REVIEW! 


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